Haunted

Maybe I needed you to go
So that I could find my feet
To stand
But that didn't mean that I wanted you to go
Forever

And yes, I do believe in spirits
that is true.
I do believe that they can haunt you
But i wonder what It means that you have not come to see me
That there is silence from your side
Are you ashamed of me?
Is that why you hide?
Is it because now you are free to see
Exactly how repulsive I can be?
Have you deemed me unworthy?

And maybe I needed you to go
So that I could find my wings
And fly
But I didn't want you to go forever.

What good is it to soar
If you aren't here to cheer for me?
And I for you?

No I didn't want you to go
Forever

And no,
This isn't the sort of haunting I imagined
When you said you would haunt me after death,
And when we laughed about the terror you would spread

I expected poltergeists,
Not this internal turmoil.

And yes maybe I needed you to go
So that I could find my feet
To stand
and walk
and run,
on my own
And maybe I needed you to go
so that I could find
My wings to soar,
to fly high,
To find my own home
In those heights

But that didn't mean I wanted you to go forever.
No, I didn't think you to be gone forever.

So I'm left to wonder
About you
Where are the signs
you said you'd leave for me
All the ways you'd haunt me
There are no ghouls in the corner
Or under the bed
Or behind the shower curtain.
No.
They're just all in my head

This isn't what I thought you meant
When you said you'd haunt me...

I didn't want you to go.
Not forever

But You are not HERE
And Im starting to think
That Death Is forever-
And you've taken his hand,
And I'm tired of standing, flying, biding my time
Til I can fly with you, again.

I'm tired.