The Life of a Lover

You drive me mad,
In a sea of cigarette ends,
And cigarette kisses,
With razorblade lips.
Speak no more,
For I've heard it all,
No more comforting,
Than an anti-depressant.
Worry suffocates me,
Desire drives me,
Seduce me with "I love you,"
Seclude me with "I hate you."
Bite my lip until it bleeds,
Claw at my chest and back,
All so odd in my mind,
Such comforting discomforts.
I just can't wait,
Until you pull away,
And I've no one to kiss,
No one to hold.
Give me a reason,
For I want to cut,
I am suicidal,
'Tis the life of a lover.
Tell me "no,"
Turn a special cheek,
Watch the phone ring,
Every time that I call.
You drive me mad,
With me or not,
And yet I call you,
I love you yet.
I wish I didn't though,
All would be much simpler,
I could be dead by now,
And at peace with myself.
So why do you return this love?
If you're so certain it will end,
End it now so I might die,
In the discomfort of my home.
Say it is no more,
Or pull the trigger,
Beg someone to say there's a difference,
Let them watch me die.