Oblivion

Delinquent dreams and errant screams echoing
Sweet, sweet silence beckoning
Begging to besiege my every thought
Every notion, every will set in motion
And lie in that haze of white noise oblivion
(static on a television turned up too loud, fading in and then out)

Have I screamed myself awake again
Fingers knuckle white, clutching pillow tight
Wet with cold sweat and bitter tears
Ten-thousand fears come racing in
Taking hold and marring the beauty of the dawn

And still I go on, and on, and on

Have I given up my soul again
To some terror-vision deity
Hidden in a maze of light and wires
Setting fire to my insanities
The travesty of all the good in me gone

And still I go on, and on, and on

Trying to make rhyme and reason of it all
Inner tower stones collapse, as I headed for the fall

(soprano)
Where oh where has the child I was gone?
(end soprano)

And still the white noise beckoning

Go to sleep, go to sleep
Rest here in my arms
We'll take you away with oblivion's charms
Go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep

Have I given up on life again?
Have I given up on life again?
Have I given up on me again...

(white noise swells again, the sound of a remote being clicked, noise stops)

Have I screamed myself awake again?
Trying to pretend I'm something I'm not
Nor will I ever be

This endless circle betrays
Every face I try to hide behind
Everything I've cast aside
Everything I've held dear
Every dream I've ever had
And every single fear

Falling, falling fast again
Can't believe I lost my grip again
Spinning of control     (here I sold my soul)
Into the free fall
Mouth open wide and screaming
Am I awake or still dreaming
Falling into the arms of oblivion

The whisper of her winds are cold
And I'm still falling
And I'm still calling
Calling out her name

Oblivion won't you take me away?
(repeats fading to a sob out)

September 22, 2001