"Epilogue"

Okay here it is
From my brain to my tongue
Or fingertips as it were
Let this serve as my request for forgiveness
No edit – no remembrance
 
"Substance?"

I sit here confounded with the progress we’ve made
I want more – you want more
What else is there to say?
Finito.
 
"Wait – I’m not done here."
 
From nothing to something is what you and I have become
I feel more for you than I ever any other have before
 
"No edits, right? …. Right."
 
I want you – everything else seems like a penance. Subservient.
I want to take you.
I want to make you mine.
Not for control or subliminal means.
I want you all inclusive, I want your everything.
For…
For you… for me… for all of time.
 
"Wait…"
 
"No edits – I want you for you, because of me. Because of us."
 
No illusions of what it is said to be.
I want you for my own intentions, my own desires.
I understand the consequences, I understand the company’s fire.
I want to take you.  I want to make us one.  This isn’t carnal, this is divine.
Oh that’s right – divination, divine, holy.  These things infer a certain meaning of which I have yet to ascertain.  I don’t plead ignorance, I know the meaning.  That meaning is not mine.
Your divinity, your purity, your innocence is something for which I yearn.
I want you, I wish for you, I need you to be mine.
Is this bliss in the path I unknowingly seek?  Maybe.
I defer to better judgment.  Not yours. Not mine.
I have so many feelings for you.
I do not pretend to know what they mean, I don’t call this love, lust or in-between.
 
"This is what I mean – convoluted as it may seem."
 
You bring me happiness, you speak of truths I cannot see.
You complete me. I cannot see a world where you no longer exist.
Keep you close? Or move on?
I vote to stick around, though I still want what lies beyond.
 
"But wait – no edits. I’m torn. "
 
I want more than what I have here.
Is it wrong that I want to take you along for the ride?
I need you here. By my side.
I’m so torn between anticipation and greed.
I want more out of this life. I want it all.
I want the love, the money and the happy.
I’ve never felt more alive than with your words.
I’ve never felt my heart more than with you in my arms.
I want to call you my baby, I want you to feel the same.
I want to feel you in the night’s embrace.
I don’t know how to move on.
 
"No edits! I said!"
 
I know what this means. 
Forsaking everything that makes our worlds turn.
I know it shouldn’t be, that it would be difficult to make a life of what we’ve had and said.
I know I want you. I know I want you. I know I want all of you… for everything you are.
 
"God damn it - I said no edits."
 
I want to retrace my words, I want to edit these things I may show to you.
Not for the sake of convincing, but for the sake of my own pride.
I don’t want you to be tempered with my despair.
I love the sound of your voice, your smell and your presence.
 
"No fucking edits."
 
Visceral, exponentially expounding in my tangled webs of this life.
Yet, you understand, you hear the voice with which I write.
Damn, I’m confounded, I’m lost on this very night.
 
"No edits. No edits. No edits."

I’m sure I would be lost without you.
Hell, I was.
We both saw it… loathed it, as it were.
 
"So here are my final words…."
 
I want to see what this could become.
I want to make a way that will work.
I want to feel you beside me in times of hate, indifference or solitude.
I want to be your pillar.
I want you.
I want all of you.
Every last bit.
I want every last starving piece of yourself you ever thought or will exist.
I want all of you forever.

EDIT - Yeah I know.... I said no edits.  All I added was the quotations, I felt it neccessary to differentiate my internal dischord.