This is what they told me,
This is where to find the end,
Happiness is obcene,
And sorrow is just meek,
I'm sorry for all the trouble,
But all you are, is a pain,
I've got better ashes to shift through,
And my time is worth more than my life,
So go away, just for a little while,
You're being of no use,
You don't have the passion,
That lies in my daydreams,
And the power isn't yours,
To give me what I need

I've tryed so hard,
To explain,
How it is that I feel,
But all the people I have pained,
Do not truly understand,
Now my frustration is hovering over,
All it is I say and do,
Making all your help so oblique

You don't believe in freedom,
And I don't care for your work,
I've got so much to do,
And you don't know how to help,
You would just give up,
Before we've even truly started...

There is so much I want to do,
Things most don't do in a lifetime,
There are things to create,
That hold the meaning of life,
And death of passions and strife

It's chaos here,
In this world of pain,
There's darkness falling,
All around our heads,
Some see the glory,
But more see the shame,
They get what they deserve,
For they are owned by others

I work to stay who I am,
I don't serve for anyones pleasure,
I play because of who I am,
You play because you are a flake

I love doing what I want,
I write whether it's good or bad,
And so you can pretend to understand,
I really don't mind if you claim to care,
But I don't take lies as payment,
And I certainly don't want anyone's pity,
I simply want to know what you really think

What makes you hide in the stars?
Is it so much easier there?
And why can't you dream,
And show me that you have spirit?
Would this make you any less?
Just because you aren't happy,
With what the world has given you?

I like to know that people are strong,
It makes me feel a little less weak,
This may not seem right in your eyes,
But you must understand,
That people are as easy to mirror,
As they are to fight,
But to follow ignorance,
Would be the death of who I am,
But I must live forever,
Whether broken or gone

I claim perfection in my own way,
It's these scars that hold me together,
There's art in every mistake,
And beauty in the darkest places,
But light is still a necessary,
To understand who I am,
And what it is I feel I must do,
I may seem too shadowy to some,
But in me hides so many colors,
That they just seem,
To blacken away all the world,
I have absolution in my being

I love to lose myself,
In the chaos that is me,
I do not even mind the panic,
It's only the abyss that bothers me

When I hit upon an idea,
Everything else goes away,
There is so much in me,
That has to come out,
It rips me to shreds,
When I'm not allowed to create

I feel held back,
By others eyes,
I get hit by every word,
Every dream they throw at me,
It's all so different,
From what I know,
Though I often understand,
What it is they want of me,
I refuse to budge my ground,
Even when others make it hard
to be...





This is just my third posting of this, I want to keep adding on and changing this. Just let it grow and develop until it holds my soul, it's going to be hard and it may turn into a book but I really feel I need to get this out. All my other writings tend to be things that I just sit and write down within a few minutes. I'd really like to try to be better and your comments and topic suggestions (or even questions for me) would really be helpful. If you are not a member of darkpoetry.com and have a suggestion, then email it to kittichoo@yahoo.com.
Thankyou much,
Kittichoo