Inefficient scales

Living.
Dying.
Somewhere in between.

Breathing.
Choking.
Makes no difference to me.

Sighing.
Crying.
Both effect my self esteem.

Abiding.
Lying.
The struggle none can see.
 
Whispering.
Laughing.
All drowned out by my scream.

Finding.
Losing.
What are your plans for me?

Believing.
Deceiving.
Lost trying to define the scene.

Conceiving,
Retrieving.
It happens to prophets to be.

Trashing.
Clinging. 
To a slate far from clean.

Disappointing.
Confiding.
In those in your family tree.

Provoking.
Withholding.
The monsters that we dean.

Reciting.
Free writing.
Can you really read me?