I draw in my breath,
Let the air flow through me,
And try to release the pain,
when I let it go...

I wish life would stop throwing me,
I wish people weren't so wiery,
If only I could go on...
Fresh, living for my pleasure
and my many ideas...

It gets so hard sometimes,
When I'm all alone,
People surrounding me,
Yet so far away,
Even their hi's...
...flow far away...

I lose myself in study,
...in talking...
...in people...
but it just doesn't work,
I'm never satisfied...

Why can't I just create,
Make a new world,
A new life, a fantasy,
The dream in my mind...
it's too beautiful...

So I cry,
I get angry,
I make others go away,
I try death,
Give it up...
My writing...
NEVER RIGHT!!!
Art...
so vicious,
and never as I envision...

I want people to know me,
Not always to judge me,
I want to be happy,
but I don't even understand this...

I need time,
I need money,
For this I must pay,
So I work...
...but I'm so tired...

where is my strength...
...my love