So... I just thought of writing out my story. This is not fiction or something to be reviewed in anyway. I also am not seeking attention with this; I just wanted to write my story. Should anyone find their way and read this, well, then I thank you a bunch for that.

So I am in love with this girl (yeah, never guessed right?) and we have had the most amazing time together. 19 months in love with it's ups and downs as you might expect from any relationship.
Now, this is probably a good time to say that despite our age, (I'm 18, she's 16), we had planned spending our lives together, getting married, explore the world; all hand in hand never giving up on our love. Everything was just going dandy.
I should also point out, that I had always had this thought of only being with one girl my entire life, both sexually and love-wise. I had never been with a girl until the age of 17. And I never will again; I just can't.
But alas, 19 months passed:

It was the best 19 months ever. Everything about this girl was just fantastic. Her taste in music, film, theater, books and just everything else was just like mine. I had, for once in my life, found a girl I fancied quite a bit. This is also why I proposed to her. 
This is usually here people think I was crazy to do such a thing. But you see, we were perfect together, nothing could get in our way. And she said yes anyways. We were planning how we were going to live our lives. It seemed perfect. Then she says she doesn't love me anymore. After 19 moths suddenly just: "nope, sry man".
What the actual f#ck?!
I mean, it was totally unexpected. I hadn't abused her or anything (except when she asked ya know ^_^).
She just said she stopped loving me. Now, a lot of things can happen in ones life in 19 months; especially a teenager's. But still, why all of the sudden, I wonder, has this most amazing beauty of God's creation, decided to leave me?
She said one of the things that convinced her that it was the right thing to break up, was that she got a little crush on another guy.
Seriously!? That's f#cking all right to have. It's not a strong love towards another? "No".
Well then no probs!

She still convinces me that she had the best 19 months of her life, and that I had helped her with all kinds of problems she had. But now it must be over, she assures me. I just can't bear it. I felt so depressed before I had her: Wristcutting, drinking and smoking, and now I'm all back at that. I just can't live without her love. Suddenly I see everything in grey, white and black.
Never have I felt so empty inside. I had given her all my love, but she didn't wan't it, not anymore, she was done with it.
I still love her, and I was sure it was going to be us from here to eternity.
I will never stop loving this girl, even though she will never love me.
You might think it's hard to find the right one in life, to find your love, your soulmate or whatever.
But I tell you right now, there is no more heartbreaking feeling than that of love unreturned.
I have given myself to this girl in all my entirety. And I shall never stop loving her.
She still want's to see as friends. But in my eyes she will never be only a friend; I can only see her as my one and only. The other half of me.

I love her so badly but she doesn't love me, and I have promised her, that if she is the most happy without me, then I will not bother her. But it aches my heart to just think of her sweet and kind nature and body; just the thought of the only love I will ever have in this life, and I had it briefly, and then "poof" gone, vanished; there is no stronger punch in the heart.

I hope one day she will love me again; but I must say: if I have to wait a whole life, or possibly even more, then I will do so. All I want is for her to be happy, with or without me. I know I can never be happy without her. I will love one woman all my life; it's just a shame she doesn't love me.

Wristcutter