Simple Reflecting

Sitting as I do...
ending my day just like any other day...
With music in the ears...
and flicking the remote as another memory flashes by...

Sleepless nights... 
one after another...
the sheep can't keep up with my laps as I toss endlessly...

my time... is my own...
my productivity... torment my own soul...
hell has nothing on what I can do to myself...

this world can never touch me...
if it did... i would never know...
I am numb to most sensations...

My own humanity preserved by my pain...
The line I walk... broken by my own sanity...
Its the only flavor I can taste...

The cause I posses... lost...
Please don't feel any remorse...
I have an understanding...

My candle in the night...
the only thing that can stimulate my heart...
tearing at my still open wounds...

let them fester...
the pain is sensation...
god... how I feel so alive when I feel it...

But here is the riddle...
what creature can sustain on pain...
day in... day out...

The things I can take...
Goddammit!!!! The feel of falling apart...

Lets take it further... what can you offer in return?
Can you make me feel alive?
Are you up for the task?

Be wary... this creature is like no other...
Those already broken... what direction do they walk...
Just to feel... Something more...
Something like completeness...

To find my unicorn...
even though I know fairy tales are more lies...
What do I have to lose...
Already lost what is important...

My life you say...
you'll never know what I got in this life...

The look in your eyes will be enough...
as you learn my truth...
but even then... will I feel...

How can I care...
I don't remember how...
to be human again... How can I?
I have forgotten how to be...

To feel something more... when will I ever be rewarded...
What must I do... What must be offered...
Blood, Sweat, and tears...

Here is the knife... but forgive me for I am all out of tears...
those where claimed long ago...
But blood... I have enough...

Take what you will... fill the emptiness with more pain...
I asked to feel again... but in the end...
You'll be like everyone else...
Pain is so easy to give... takes no effort...

Do your worst and leave me be...
the fairy tale of my life...
finish me off...
and take a piece too...

I will still be empty...