Want to know how it feels:
Guts spilled between sheets, wrath, the sweet aroma of love and the suspension of my tears
You are slowly burning me in the soft glow of the candle placed barely touching skin
Body unscathed but inside is an incandescence
Slowly the heat propagates reaching the soft beating of my heart-
-glued by the phenomena that is, that was, that remains your love
You saved me, from my troubles, my past, and my compulsions:
To return to the emotional wreck- I now remain silent, still, at peace 
Transparent as a human but only seen as a Russian doll- now I have strings
Buried by notes of music, my words to paper- I no longer breathe the same
To give up, to give in, surrendering to the pain- the notion no longer return to me
I am so different: I am- saved
The darkness lifts
Lungs fill with acceptance, with euphoria and hope
I am- loved. I never thought I would be (dad)

But as night approach
As I turn myself too much into a perfect mannequin you turn away
The darkness is a different shade to what I am accustomed to, blinding, unspeakably suffocating
Polymer chains unlock, bonds dismantle, and the glue no longer holds the pieces of my heart, of our relationship
I cannot reach you, I cannot make you understand: my heart is broken as it were, despite the glue, your best efforts
This is it, the war of tug and pull
You just have to take me as I am, as I am, as I have grown to accept myself for so long, as I have become, as I am metamorphosing for you, as I am trying to become, as I am struggling to be- 
just love me the same, forever, as you promised

27-01-12