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Clown
By Cindy-ydniC
From my eyes, the black mascara on my exaggerated eyelashes
run
A single stream, a single path, my destiny traced on my face.
I pretend to be, I pretend to
laugh, I pretend so much I have convinced myself I am alright
But the solitude has built walls surrounding me.
And when I am
with you, I cry deep inside for I am alone, no matter what
I look at the world, to embrace what is left of myself
I want to
be seen, to be heard but only their voices overpower my pleads
So
I listen, poke fun at my scars, talk (say whatever, as long as I am not
left alone) and
I laugh,
pretending I am alright
And there isn’t any time left to be heard,
to be analysed and understood
But I make you feel good? I reassure
your crimes and regrets
I have nursed every wound but my own, left
infected.
Nobody sees, nobody cares, nobody wants to know me more
I am a lone puppet, manipulated for their own pleasures, discarded
when wanted
So I do what I know best:
To be loved, to be admired,
to be heard whatever the circumstances for just a second
I laugh, though deep inside I cry.
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Copyright 2011 Cindy-ydniC
Published on Wednesday, July 6, 2011.
Filed under: "Reflective" and
"Poetry"
Comments on "Clown"
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A former member wrote:
maybe we all know this feeling, this think mask that we wear to fit in, to make ourselves acceptably social... to allow the companion to stay on. I wonder to what extent we can ever avoid feeling alone; I mean... seems like there's always going to be something, some part of us... that which makes us who we are, maybe... that will not be communicable, or will forever remain more than what can be told or accurately interpreted... perhaps.... very soul-searching write, quite pensive and deep.... this clown is not funny, ms cindy. Thank you for sharing.
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