Sorrows to Fear to Death

Love, love, love,

What is this word that haunts my thoughts?

Run away,

Hide from the pain,

Back to the darkness I call home,

There I was content to die.

Brain benumbed,

Sorrow and fears that twist and tear,

An end of me,

An apparition of confusion,

Benign, construed within the hate,

The suppressed forever,

The I don’t cares.

When the best of me is given,

And again my heart is scared,

Why I can’t understand.

Escape is loneliness and death,

Humble at ease,

That I don’t want to see.

Wrong stupidity that I am,

Mistakes made in the presence of perfection,

And to me all the blame,

Its ok,

To add a drop to a sea of tears,

That dry up in the dust of fears.

Oh sweet misery taking me away,

That I try to fight it,

Kicking and screaming at a force to great,

I cannot stay.

To die,

Oh to die with my pain,

That it may pay my way across the river of fire,

So it may carry me to my eternity,

These thoughts that eat my hope,

To keep me from my love,

To keep me insane,

Be damned to die with my loneliness,

To fulfill my destiny,

Forever in pain.

All life’s problems have me to blame,

In shame,

To my end,

Must be the solution to all the tears.
Weave my poor wretched heart,

With the final death I deserve,

For all those who I see,

May my end solve their disease.

I think…

Who cares what my brain emits,

Poison in my mouth,

That hurts all those whose ear it reaches,

In the darkness,

No one hears my cries,

And all are safe from my stupidity,

Maybe I’ll go there,

There no one cares,

No pain,

No emotion,

No hope or fear,

Maybe that’s where I belong,

With the monsters and abominations,

With all those like me,

Those that won’t change me.

I don’t deserve anyone’s love,

I am a beast,

A mindless, stupid, uncaring monster,

I should die,

But I’m not even good enough for death.

Why can’t I ever do things right,

I am always wrong,

But I don’t even care anymore,

Caring makes me hurt,

And it’s an all too familiar pain,

But this isn’t what I want,

It’s what I’m driven to,

But I’m probably wrong about that to,

So nothing matters.

 I don’t matter,

I never mattered,

I just died and died,

And hid it all inside for none to see.

 But even those who could see didn’t care.

So I’ll just fade away into the night,

Forever….