There are days I lose this battle with depression.
Mental anguish taking over like demon possession!
The darkness sets in like a shadow of sin over me.
Consuming all my mental and physical energy!
I often wonder if suicide is my only answer.
Emotional strain inside,eating me alive like a cancer.
So tired of picking myself up off my knees.
Time seems to be ticking for this mental disease.
Oh God wake me,restore the very core of my soul.
Take me before I self destruct and lose control!
I'm not getting much stronger,and I'm not sure I can make the climb
How much longer,because it's apparent I'm out of time?!
Staring at the chrome 38. in my hand,
It's too late,I pray my daughters understand.
I put the barrel to my temple closing my eyes.
And just for a fraction of a second,I fantasize.
There is a funeral,and I see my daughters disappointment.
I visualize my soul engulfed in flames of torment.
I came back too,reality setting in.
Lowering the pistol;I can't allow this to be my end!
I get up from the couch,and open the curtains to the window.
I had an uncontrollable urge to get out of this studio.
I needed a breath of fresh air,and this was the only way,
Escaping this emotional warfare to survive another day!
This entry is from my diary-a bit of an confession.
It is a constant battle with my depression!!