Conspiracy Theory: number one eight seven.

During the Trickle-down administration when all that shadiness about the Contras’ guns for drugs deal went down, George Bush (the ancient) just happened to be the head of the CIA.
Somehow he parlayed this into becoming President by mimicking the stupidity act that Reagan perfected before him. Try comparing “Ketchup counts as a vegetable,” with “Read my lips....” By acting stupid both Presidents convinced the public they were incapable of craftiness.
Bill Clinton pulled a similar move during his Presidency. He just used a Monica Lewinsky to distract instead of the Bush/Reagan stupidity gambit. Either way he managed to slip one through, but that’s another story altogether. This one’s about the Bush conundrum.
Throughout his Presidency Bush plotted to get oil. The biggest contributors to his campaign just happen to be oil companies. It’s long been thought in certain circles that the CIA and the oil companies work together. Now a former CIA head becomes President. Hmm.
Iraq invades Kuwait. The perfect chance presents itself for Bush to get that Iraqi oil. Unfortunately, he could only get the backing of the UN as long as the mission was to free Kuwait. Not for the U.S. to occupy Iraq and gank their oil. (And I know that’s not a complete sentence but I like it, so fuck off.)
So the Gulf War would serve as a good starting point. And George could be reasonably sure he would get a second chance in his second term. Incumbents almost always win. Except for when good ole hillbillies like Bill Clinton fuck shit up.
Clinton really came through for the Republicans. He managed to steal the election from the Bush Oil Consortium and then pass the Republican Agenda, (all the while masquerading as a Democrat). With Clinton in power for 8 years the Bush clan and their Saudi backers waited and watched. Hell, they watched and reported like damn voyeurs.
Then Boy George and his shady brother Jeb managed to swindle an election from the ignorant Al Gore. (Who picks these fools anyway? And why don’t they place ‘NONE OF THE ABOVE’ on the ballet?)
But people noticed something funny about some chads in Jeb’s state. Some suspected a rigged election. Then Boy George whipped up a distraction. They call it 9-11 (pronounced nine-eleven not to be confused with nine-one-one).
Boy George called in a favor from an old friend of his father’s. Old George and his CIA trained Bin Laden originally as a freedom fighter. The Afghani’s first learned how to take out aircraft under U.S. training when the CIA gave Osama the STINGERS he needed to take out the Russian Hind helicopter.
Bin Laden and his men managed to kick the Russians out of Afghanistan. 9-11 proves Bin Laden perfected these anti-aircraft techniques. Boy George needed to provoke anti-Arab sentiment so he could get the backing he needed to invade Iraq and steal their oil. Bin Laden worked together with the Bush/Saudi/Oil/OPEC Consortium so well in the past. Why not continue the relationship to their mutual benefit? The media soon forgot the election scandal. Bush now worked with some power.
Broad power. Think Securities Act, or whatever clever name they give for the whittling away of our freedoms. You know they can tap your phone now without even getting a warrant. Furthermore they managed to delay the release of old classified documents.
As a particularly nice bonus, the media blamed Afghanistan for something planned by Saudi Arabians and Bush himself.
And so we bombed Afghans into the Stone Age. The Taliban fled and the poppy fields flourish. We send them bombs; they send us heroin. It’s a fair trade, right.
Besides, we need something to dumb down the rebellious amongst us. Take the edge off it all. Hooray for opium!
Next Boy George used the anti-Arab sentiment to attack Iraq so the Bush Consortium and its’ Saudi backers can get their claws in all that black gold. Where were those bio-weapons at anyhow?
Need more circumstantial? How about the gold supposedly in the basement of the Towers. Where did it disappear to? Someone stateside knew in advance to move the gold before the Towers got hit.
And what about the trick with the new twenty? If you don’t know about that one then you better ask somebody.