The doctor injected something in me when I was just an embryo!
I figured my mother was the enemy standing at the end of the rainbow
      As a babe I used to take off my diaper and throw it at my baby sitter Sandy!
When I was a kid I bullied other children out of their candy
       In elementary my teacher asked what i would grow up to be?I stood in front of the
class
told her to kiss my azz and screamed like a banshee!
       I remember the first time I played "house" with the girl next door
She told me I was her pimp  and she was my whore!
        Before school I would get drunk on Belvedere
I used to sit in class behind this nerd and thump him in the ear!
        As a teenager I thought I was being haunted
I would tell girls what they desired just to get what I wanted
         I used to get into fights alot
At 16 my Grandmomma caught me smoking pot!
         My first job was a McDonald's drive-thru
Customers would get an attitude,put me in a bad mood
         So I put a booger in their "big mac",smiled,and said"Sorry I was rude to you!"
         The year I turned 17,that Halloween I inhaled some gasoline
That night my sister caught me masturbating to a magazine!
         At 19 years old I became a world renowned gigolo
Not long after I was abducted by a UFO!
         I traveled constellations for over a decade
"Marvin The Martian" returned me to earth after our last Venus Crusade
         It took me a couple years to readjust
Even today I still smell like moondust!
         And so I became a man with no self control
I'll forever stand a demented soul!