Untitled

It is but a moment.
Not long enough.
Not nearly.
I know that I need you for all that you are worth.
But if all that I can get is a moment....
hell, I'll take that and a smoke, if you please.
Life was easier when all I needed to make me happy was you by my side,
and a decent rain storm.
Good pack of Marlboro Reds and the feeling that we were invincible.
We ruled that neighborhood with an iron fist.
We beat it into submission.
And where are we now?
Oh to meet the sun that we met then,
when days consisted of intaking pizza that we were not sure was from this week,
when cleanliness of our home could matter less to us,
when watching you sleep inspired many poems to spout from my pen.....
Aaaaahhhhh.
How we thought we suffered, yet we really had it made.
I am sad to say that I am drowning in adultness.
I am no good at this.
I wish I was.
Wish I had grown to be more grown.
But I am not.
I don't want to blame my parents,
but I fail to see my fault in the process of me not growing enough.
I was too independent for them,
and they were too weak willed.
And so, I took control of my life
before I even knew what my life was.
And there we were,
with our kingdom.
We ruled fairly, justly.
And harshly.
I miss the power,
the money,
the fame.
But mostly...............
I miss you.
I miss our ability to take over any enterprise that existed.
I miss our ability to fuck for hours.
I miss the family we built.
I miss Donald.
His smile,
his laugh,
his love for all of us.
We were lost, and he loved us anyways.
We were alone, and he hugged us.
We were stupid, and he taught us.
We were homeless, and he housed us.
I miss our family.
Disfunctional as FUCK,
but it served every purpose, and more.
It was as perfect as we could get it.
And you and I were the glue.
When we didn't work out, everything fell apart.
I lived for us then,
I live for us now.
It will never change.
People in my life know this.
Warn me against this.
But they are not educated.
They don't see where we are,
where we have always been.
When we met,
we knew it wasn't by accident.
When I saw you,
I knew you from our previous lives.
I missed you then,
I miss you now.
And I can only think that we will do this again,
until we can learn to get it right with each other.
So, I hope that you have found happiness in your current life.
I will find you in the next, and we will make this work.
I am learning.
We got a lot farther this life.
Next life will be farther, maybe till the end.
Donald will help us.