everyday some one new (and old) turns away my smile has been sold as I balance through the heart breaks and the soul  awakening experience to come.   if I can move  through this last lost pasture without losing track.   something like death with the stirrings of excitement and apprehension that's something like death and wondering what the next life will bring.   Moving on and up back to the top of that mountain maybe you'll find me all ragged and finally mutated with a  sparkle again in my eyes where I can slide in some lies but after all the goodbyes.   send me on to punch my way through a whole new place a whole new life never let up, never fall completely to the floor get out and find what I want MORE I'm a soldier and this is war in some new terrain and I must make my way stay alive and free to roam as I've trudged though this sitting of writing that could be a poem ,but I know  I'll just be another to go down with another note books never again  to be read or thought of; but still it's taken me further as the pen has filled in the  spaces between the lines.