Random stanzas from the good old days (sic)

 Is God on our side?

Sizzled, beaten, confused
and mind fried
looking in the world
for something to find
with hopes of peace of
mind, the signs of protest,
the losing through defeat
mindset, all alive and burning
like viruses through your
writing machine, gongs
now only ding, for me,
I've left you losers in
your chaos and live in
my own, I'll sing my own
song, bang my own gong,
let you kill eachother off'
with the ruthlessness of hellfire --
Our race will get burned every time.
There's nothing here for me to
find, but change and if not
you'll find my brains all over
the ceiling, so long good bye.

----

lonely and afraid, I used
to care, worn, drove myself
insane,now it's changed
rearranged and some pieces
are missing -- ran too deep
into the rabbit hole, fooled
myself but sang my songs
at the top of my lungs
picked up my guns
and shot down the sun,
now it's dark
now it's cold
it really is getting fun.

----

Miss therapist
I wrote you a 
little poem
about the highs, lows,
and inbetweens
about the times my minds
so drunk my soul
sings, then screams b/c
she wants a little recognition
a little compassion
a little competition
yes things are getting dark
and yes I used to care
but the breath of god keeps on like
a breeze and drowning in a
post-modern undertow seems
like the best idea --
humanity as a whole, flushed
down the drain
grizzly bear, a
metaphor for the fear and pain
this sad song has gone on far too long
the crowd feels it's getting lame
Jesus -- every verse is the same
the grizzly bear should be me
fuck the silent throat cutters
I growl and mangle through
the night and blood --
dear Miss Therapist
you think you can help me
see some light?
----
Never and always, I'll 
remember to love you
slip deeper into the 
unconsciousness, into the bliss
of the downtown street light
fright, foggy cold morning
and every one shouldbe
in bed. There's no more
peace and the pieces
don't make the whole
and the politicians
will sing their battle hymms
and soon everything will
end, god's credits will role.
----
go go go go
away, now
away temptation
go go away
leave me be, it
will be what it is,
forever, for bad worse
or better, should
settle for the moment
settle for what I got,
my stomach growls
now and again,
you'd call my life a sin
go go go away
heart screeches for something
real and here in this fire
I've finally made it in
you'd call it a sin
fuck you
to live and to heal
to steal and to spin
to do myself in,
to reel.