If I let you kiss me

if I let you kiss me
then I just might care
but I want to walk away
with my heart and mind still my own
then again my heart isn't mine to give
he's held it captive for so long
a cruel instrument of torture
at least i know there is safety
kept protected from the blue
always running scared but
i always seem to run to you
my body wants you to be mine
it wants you to take me
my heart pulls me back
i can't just stop
a little piece of you here
a piece of you there
and only for a short time
not wholly mine
quick whispers in the dark
exciting and forbidden
adrenalin pushes tingly fire
i cannot wait for the next shot
but you're still not him
no matter how hard even if i try
i really only want him
he just wont let me near
how strange to be so imprisoned
yet so free to run
i dont want to hurt you
but i need the solace of your arms
some comfort and love
even just fake words of love
beautiful blue misty swirls around me
so softly you command, demand
i think i want to get away
but i know it's no use
if i let you kiss me