The word forever has a completly different meaning to me know that the babys here. Before when my boyfriend purposed for the first time and said he wanted to be with me forever I thought it was a great idea but at the same time wasnt sure because I have always had commitment issues. Wen things got hard i would run, go as far as I could and avoid the world as long as I could. And now that the babys here and I have made a lifetime commitment and theres no more running, and that scares me more than anything. I guess at the same time its made me grow up more, but being a mom at the age of 20 wasnt really my plan in life. Dont get me wrong, I wouldnt change it for the world, and I know I can do this, and once I pass my GED (which i retook the test the day before I went into labor and have to wait 3wks to a month to get the results) I still somehow will find a way to go to college, and continue what I promised myself I would do for a very long time. I know this whole entry might seem pointless but I feel alot better posting it online where noone really knows me than writting it down in my journals, because I cant trust anyone at all, which is pathetic but true. Anywyas I guess thats it for now....