Thoughts of a Wandering Mind: Collection 1: 12/29/2006-1/5/2008

in order to make more room, so that i can post more works, i decided to put all of my previous works in to one big collection.
these are the originals that i had typed on my computer before putting them on to DP, so a few are a little different cause i change things sometimes. i know its a bit to read but i hope you enjoy at least one of them. and i know commenting will be kinda weird but dont worry about it im just glad you stopped by.

your friend,
NapoleonsLust














-throw it to the wind-

walking thru a lonely nightmare
searching for something that is not there
all the roads lead me back
to the place I tried to leave
wish I could escape run away
throw worries to the wind
goodbye to you I say a due
due to leave this place the way I entered
stranded gasping for air
I died inside tried to recover
is this it nothing more
not true not true
step away there has to be another way
your right quick and strong
take action head held high
to die is what they want
prove them wrong they will see
me for who I am a lonely nothing
doing way im told smile nod
this is true do it to fit in
not what I want to do
just a life long nightmare
we can not stop it the road is set
to end it would be a shame
the path is lonely and long
but whos to say where it will end
now I am stuck torn in two
maybe another day one not so gray
ill just think
how nice it would be to throw it all away



-idaho-

i fell in love with a friend a stranger
dont know how to put this but
i fell went astray
dont know if i should say i love you
to hear it back is great
do you mean it do you mean it
scary dreams that are probably true
sickening thoughts wont go away
but still i stay dont go away
to forget would be a sin
to make a promise i plan to hold
once a week a voice talks to me
so distant so far away
i am blind so very blind and sometimes to kind
for you to come would be so great
but what do you do when it goes away
feeling here as they should
actions speak louder than words
take action i did look at me now
better for it but so distant
a lonely face in a crowd
do you see me
would you see me would you even stop
seems ive waited to long my chance gone
figures i would be my down fall
heart always in the wrong place
dont pity me i wont pity you
lives were crossed and my face in you
a distant shadow with a face
attached with a memory
should i say i love you?



-turmoil of a young mind-

persistent resistence
is what you gave me
be someone that your not
make me proud
dont forget to pray
and say grace
i have issues with this
dont know if i can do this
deception and lies
is whats buried inside

i dont know if i can do this
go once a week
hope you dont fall asleep
no confessions here
i live life to the fullest
whats done is done
get up move on
find yourself within the crowd
look at the sky at night
remember how small you are

open your eyes you tell me
faith is all you need
wish it was that simple
but was is a disciple?
i may be wondering
know im not lost
find faith within yourself
look in the mirror
you are your savior
and be blessed you have life



-Hannas Eyes-

i see you in the backroom
slender and beautiful
why cant you stay?
why do you run away?
suffer together our way
together we can stay

i thought you were happy
smile, fake smile
ill take it anyways
patience is a virtue
ill be here waiting
heart on my sleeve

two weeks have gone
not a call not a sound
than there you are
my forbidden love
your body is the same
but your eyes have changed

black comes with you
as she always will
use me one more time
make my wounds fester
with a blink of an eye
your gone again



-My Twin-

I found my twin today
asked if she wanted to play
simply said “nay”
than “please go away”

than she went into the sky
I called “can you fly?”
“Only when you die”
tears, I began to cry

now I know
as I have grown
why I have felt so alone
but she has shone

how to get my feet off the floor
so I can soar
across this desolate shore
which has left me cold to the core



-To My Bride-

my soul fled the night
and into your light
oh, what shimmering beauty

hail to thee
my bride to be
love forever true

may our seed
grow a tree
to shade you from any hardships

and with these two hands
i will defend
until the bitter end

this pledge to you
words that ring true
my friend, my companion



-Factory Lights-

went to a party
dident know who
id meet there
so i stared around the room
than i laid eyes a pone you
dancing about the room
cheshire cat
had nothing on that
smile

you started to look tired
and i had to go
i was surprised to see
what blocked the door
just one more smoke
my hand was filled with warmth
i started out full bore

to those factory lights
where was i last night
hardly know you
but it feels so right

you danced for me
we could barely breath
the night cut deep
all i wanted was a hard drink
but before i could stop
you pulled in close
and kissed me
forgot about the cold
my heart was warm
for at least this one night

i hardly know you
but this much is true
by those factory light
i was with you all night
and we kissed
oh heaven forbid

i left you by
those factory lights
ill be back tonight
for one more dance
cause it feels so right
to be filled with your warmth
for one more time
under the factory lights



-Done With This Gun-

all we are is chemical reactions
swinging blindly in this fight
my goals and ambitions
held just out of sight
staring down the barrel of this gun
to die so young
what have i done
what have i done

there is no where left to run
i want to paint it on the wall
my thoughts my hopes and dreams
ill paint me on the wall
as shouts ring out
what have you done
what have you done

to ascend is all i want
do something right and just
staring down the barrel of this gun
this is not the end how is this right
turn your head
see the pictures on the wall
what will they say
to die so young before anything had begun
throw away that empty gun
get up and run
get up and run

cheating only me
from what i want to become
there is so much left to be done
ill look back on this day
think of how my life has changed
staring down the barrel of the gun
smile as I say
i have won
look what ive become



-Revenge On a Friday Night-

See it in the Darkness
Creeping in the Shade
Swelling of Anger raging inside
So let it go
Envelope you in sweet Embrace
I cant help but feel this way
Its all gathering in my head
I will let it go, go
Patterns forming Red and Black
To be ignored no more
Hear me roar thru my arms
Your hidden so shamefully
Come into my Light
Welcome to the Fight
Cross my path once
Ill cut you twice
I let it out
Rage inside
See you drip Red and Black
Ill burn you down
With your Pride
See me in the Darkness
Creeping in the Shade
Behave or Pay
Ill let it out
No place for you to go



-Sweet Mudslide Smoke-

Shoot me up something good
stay with me till this fades
I like the way you make me feel
never ever stop prodding me
with your butterfly sharp kisses

im falling down the landslide
catch me at the end
please don’t pretend to be there
just to watch me slip on by
my collared menace with a bomb

now im as numb as ice
but you keep scratching your nails on the chalkboard
quick to wince like a cowering dog
take my elixir of death in just one breath
you throw ill fetch

I’ve fallen once before
feel the lightning in my scars
a horror of a man become
my moms fallen bumble bee
now your on to the next scene



-Inter Woven Shell Shock-

wake up to the shell shock
no one know your awake
welcome to the real world
invisible specter of a soul
listen for the voices in the night
my guiding mentors to this life
understand the puzzle just to
wake up to the shell shock
a stranger at the mirror
breathing to take my last breath
youthfulness to weariness to loneliness to hollowness
get a grip on today
a phalanx of emotions of to war
standard deviation of my lust
life leaves me to
wake up to the shell shock



-For You My Dreams-

i quoted you one to many times in my sleep last night
my eyes reflecting in your eyes
i felt your skin for the fist time in a year
your soft voice in my ear
i held your hand and walked for hours
an angel when you move
a smile i catch from the corner of my eye
then we stop and look
im alone in my room staring at the wall
ill think of you today
and i will love you today



-Shes In The Ground-

take these words back down
to the ground
let them sink in to your chest
to infiltrate your senses
so you wont know what hit you

six feet unders where you lay
for the rest of your days
and i cant help but think
if my word made in through the ground
words of aganising scream

to nights the night
i wander through these halls
all faced with glass
your face still haughts me
even if ive never looked in to your eyes

this is what you wanted
finish what you started
its not the look
just the outcome
ill run away

ill take it
ill love it
i wont see you ever again
i promise i promise
shes to young to die

i take a second
fill my lungs with air
than i stare at your hands
as i sream in to the
ground



-A Tuesday Afternoon Drive-

it's a tuesday afternoon
and we're looking for something to do

chorus:
let's get out of the city
it's so full of lies
lets go for a drive
by the trees
i know just the site
i've been there before

turn off the road
head for the sweet grove
that's where i'll put her down
and tell her to hush
don't make a sound
so beautiful on the ground

chorus

bit's of shadow
fill your face
my arm's are tense
i have to do this
so i grab for the package
i saved for this day

than she said i do
i will
i'm not worthy for you
but you'll have me by your side
please remember the time
when i said

chorus



-Blood Stilettos-

we both know how it goes
stare until our clothes
fall off!
call off!
your attack!
just sit and relax
you always move so fast
buckle up, curves ahead!

remember the fist time
your where so kind
you left me bleeding broken bruised
with nothing else to do
but use your silver tongue
apologize!apologize!
stratigize!stratigize!

you stabbed me with your stilettos
left me alone on the road
a cheap shot to the heart
it was over from the start
ive been bled dry
because you lied
you lied!

now tell your friends
the make up queen scene
how you fucked me
and took my money



-The Sun Faith Propaganda-

siting under
a blue umbrella
white blossoms
falling around me
fire on my face
my faithful fire
bring me life
bring me
warmth and cancer
floating down
rain happiness
and death
he giveth and taketh
dont forget
wear your sun screen
spf faith
sit back
relax
may be you wont burn
to bad



-Paralyzed on the Couch-

a beauty walks this way
a monster in the door
look how you sway
"ive got the drugs
and ive got the lighter"
head to one side
i reply
"ill see you at the white tunnel"

ill tell you what i see
a chameleon in disguise
a man with nothing in his eyes
you want to know me
i dont know me
just live life today
dont look the other ways
my life is a torrent
of maddening thoughts
i dont even know what i want
my desires float in the wind
emotions shift like sand
i wreck my body
i love to party
just one more line
ill be fine



-Stand By-

just stand on by
as the next one lies
oh no
im trying to paint the picture
but your words are sexy

an empty heart
and a throat filled up with words
we're messing with a different creature
and her mind is crazy
in it for the trill
eyes set to kill
k.o.

i'll just stand by
wait for another lie
oh no
it was a horrible picture
your not so sexy

i'll just stand on by
not gonna lie
your done



-sitting on the sil-l

dont listen to me
im something that im not
a ghost
the figure on your sill
believe nothing is real
everything is surreal
walk away

you had your chance now walk away
they say your a fake but i cant shake this feeling
of you
and i
this wont last
a hero in shining armor dies

chorus:
and the distance is to far for me to scale
ive crawled back into my shell
the remnants of your face remind me of the vase on your sill

a mistake in the past marked with and everlast-ing
go
stand along
till i come relive you of your post
the one you chose when you ran

chorus:
and the distance is to far for me to scale
you've crawled back in to my shell
the remnants of your face remind me of the vase on your sill

come on home
the one that you know
your roots have shone your are here
i need you so near
trees and green
waters of blue
the sun will not shed a tear for you