What a fitting wind
That cuts me with coolness
And bites at the tender parts of my flesh

Standing naked in the winter darkness
On this negative two degree morning in February

Let there be no mistake about it, I hate you,
And the words that you will say one day
Will mean as much to me as the attention you have
Shown to the body of this “friend”

What need is there to assume when
I can feel everything you do to me

It’s nine o’clock and my heart begins to flutter
Like the first time seeing an all too familiar face

I’m shaken and feel the need to flee but
The clean cool sky filling my lungs gives
Enough hope to relax my chest until…

It’s 11:45 and my need for air and nicotine has taken over
Things become clearer as we step outside
Things become clearer as we step o u t s i d e

Still I dismiss it, just too much weed and
That shot of vodka I let my friend talk me into
Allowing my mind to go quiet for a little while but now…

It’s 1:15 and I feel a lil too drunk as my heart begins to roll like thunder
And with my insides shaking, I feel excited and sick all at once

I try to throw up but become strangled by the salty drops being sucked in
With hungry gulps after remembering the importance of the oxygen
which has been sucked all at once from my cells, and then…

It’s 1:30 and I feel an overwhelming guilt…

It’s disconnect or die as I feel her lips pressing yours
My heart begins to slow, encasing itself in the icy rain of this morning
And when…

It’s 2 A.M. and I feel nothing at all…