I am going to make it through this year if it kills me.

I sit down to write
and the first thought I have is
where exactly am I,
figuratively speaking I mean,
literally, perhaps.

I am in a stable location for once,
After to many living situations.

I am in a memorable relationship for once,
or at least in my mind.

all these aspects of life I used to dwell on
and still excuses call from the back of my mind,
they are muted now, mind you,
they are far off and almost foolish
but not quite.

I am happy.
I don't know how to deal with it.

Where exactly am I
in my life,
no who am I,
when I studder to
spare a little of my time.

I have so much of it.
time I mean,
Its one of the main themes in my thought process.

I find it hard to finally relax.
I am 23 years young god dammit.
I could not wait to finally relax not to many years ago.
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me.

but anyway,
enough of that rubbish
I am pretty happy for once
fuck it.