Anodyne
By lycaonhybrid
Lope across the snow with me
And escape the winter's chill
Be my wolf-like entity
Keep the fleeting chaos still
I want to dance in childish play
But keep the solace real
To hold you when you're old and grey
But always strong as steel
Will you howl with me at the burning moon
And climb the mountains while keeping tune
And kick up dust in piled snow
While we watch the children grow?
Will you dry my eyes as I kiss your tears
And keep the passion through the years
Just long enough for eternity to pass
Is that too much to ask?
You that sooth the pain from under
Can bring me to a glow
My wolf-like mate that none can sunder
Give proof that none could show
Anodyne, my claim, my mate,
You 're unfailing by my side
For we can make the mountains quake
When we sing up to the sky
Comments on "Anodyne"
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On Monday, January 21, 2008, Distorted_Reality
(101) wrote:
the rhyming scheme needs worked on a bit, but all and all you did a nice job.
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A former member wrote:
Good job on the rhyming scheme well placed syllables. except. third stanza first to lines. My suggestion: Will you howl. with me at the burning moon/ and climb the mountains. while keeping tune. BUt really good write. Proper mix of association and imagery and emotional/abstract use of terms. fleeting chaos is a good tid bit. so is keep the solace real. Complexity is overrated. good job.