There was a time when the words poured from my black spade of a heart. The ones around me seemed more distant than the stars above. Each day seemed more horrible than the nightmares that preceded it, every breath more labored than the one before. The whole world was falling in and I was slipping away.

As I hit my lowest point someone showed me a world I never seemed to see on my own. The world ruled by Blake, Cummings, Frost, and too many more to mention. She let me see into herself and the wondrous world she had created. One I could only admire and relish the time I was allowed entrance. She taught me that at times the brightest minds harbor the darkest secrets. She taught me all I need to know about myself and everyone around me. Then she cast me away never to see her brilliance again.

Ghosts sentenced to walk the earth alone. A presence seemingly more shadow than substance. Masks veil the underlying spirit. To what do I owe this awakening of self and to others so close? So many torn and tattered. So many, broken, and wasting. A beacon of light flashing through an infinite void of darkness. I see you in the distance. I’ve felt you in the night. The beat of your heart has danced rhythmically with mine though you never knew of my existence.

Now I’m here though I can’t quite figure out where that may be. The path I follow is rich in scenery I find myself lost in from time to time. My first memory of you as clear today as it was back then and each brief encounter there after. As much as I would’ve liked the attention of your radiant spirit, then, the cold reigns of caution quickly pulled me in. I sometimes forget I was taught to observe the mind, body, and spirit, while introspectively looking into my own. Connections start within.

Here we are today surrounded by our sea of waves. Some crash in destructive behavior while others gently roll, in soothing tranquility. I see you there across the way seemingly without a care. You smile and breathe in the free air as the wind gently blows through your soft hair. Dreams fall like seeds in the spring destined to grow in the brighter days of summer. Sometimes I see the cold waters rise and other times I see despair deep within your eyes. I’ve always wanted you to know that I understand, and if you start to go under I’ll give you my hand. After all you’ve rescued me more times than you may ever know. And for that my dearest you’ll forever have a special place deep within my soul.

Sometimes the words don’t translate well. Other times they’re lost forever in the moment. I’ve received your message in a bottle and I’m answering your call.

When I finally had a chance to really know you the past flashed to the present. Maybe I didn’t see it at first but it all became clear. Because of my past I’m able to see you. I see the poet, the writer, the artist, most of all the woman. I’ve held you closely in my mind and heart because of what you’ve shared of yourself to me. Sometimes it’s the little things that stay forever inside, like the time you spoke so eloquently of your dad. I remember the tears in your eyes and the way you tried not to let them fall. I remember wishing I could take them away at that moment then realized they were for him and needed to be there. At times I’ve wanted to hold you and say it will be ok. Sometimes it was just for me because I knew you understood.

I’ve felt the tension between me and thee. I laugh a little to myself when I think of a crush, though the laugh goes away quickly. Warm feelings suddenly turn cold. I realize that I’m once again alone. Many surround me but few can see what lies inside. You’ve seen, and still see, me. In so many ways we’re alike and others we’re miles apart. I’ve wondered what would be if our two worlds were to collide. Maybe that’s what’s happening now. A romance of the spirit or affair of the heart? I’ll ponder that for it is what it is and sit here thinking of you and wonder if you’re thinking of me.