late night sentiments

As stupid as this sounds, my emotions are all over the place because I just watched a stupid series full of fucked up people. As much as people won’t get it, man, there is always a reality in all the movies and novels. Hurt is a very bad thing, because from the outside, not a lot of people can actually see through all the walls and coverings. And the fact that you had a chance at some point to avoid your tragedy and now that you know, you can’t. breaks you even further to how you didn’t pay attention and now the price is heavier that anything.


The feeling when you try to pull yourself together but your strings are as frail as the attention you paid, you just keep breaking down, over and over again. Because then now you think you just deserve to live with the pain for the rest of eternity. Then comes the part that you have to at least cover it up and play “you have to fake it until you make it” but then you get so accustomed to the pain and the virtual happiness that you forget to be genuinely happy and that becomes what you are: an empty, lonely soul looming around the world without a purpose.


Sometimes I feel like I have moved past my past but I think it keeps up with me that it’s like cologne so strong, you’re just associated with it.