Comments by TropicalSnowstorm
- "Great piece! Always working for Someday, maybe next Saturday...out of reach and also just so very almost there. We live in this moment as we strive toward the next, but its always important to remember this moment is the one we actually inhabit. Marcus Aurileus wrote something just like that and I had the delicious sense when I read it, my goodness, 2000 years removed from my own timeline and yet he gets me. I felt a similar feeling when I read this piece, although your metrr and flow were cooler than his. :) Ciao, T/S"
Posted by TropicalSnowstorm on "Monday" by God Is In The Rain
- "I think it works if you end it after "furthermore." Either that, or you need thirteen lines in that last part or it seems out of balance and what is there seems too in earnest to tie things up. I think you can just leave it hanging and it works fine. The only two lines that I don't think really worked were "To watch upcoming season,
of "pururin" cartoon." Other than that, I think all the lines are witty and filled with excellent imagery. Ciao, T/S"
Posted by TropicalSnowstorm on "Promises to the Moon" by God Is In The Rain