Comments by TheProphetUntold

  • "I've been noticing a significant use of enjambment in your recent works. I am not convinced of it effectiveness when used as much as it seems to be in this work. Stretching ideas over lines for the sake of meter and consistency I can see, but the leap across stanzas is a little off putting. There's one thought/image in the first stanza, then the second is split between two stanzas, then the last image is in the last. All that in 6 lines, with all the pauses and punction mid-line.. I suppose if you were trying to make it seem like you were describing a small detail drunk in a spinning room it would serve properly. The ending does ground it all out though and brings order back to mix. Interesting stuff, I look forward to seeing what you do with it. +tpu+"
    Posted by TheProphetUntold on "Vase of Tempered Blue" by lupus tenebrae
  • "I enjoy poetry because I feel it lives at the core of me, simply. Perhaps that's why I prefer short poems with simple structures and meanings that really center on the idea. When someone writes something like this, that strikes the perfect chord in the core of it's subject and ambiance it really resonates with me. Words can build such a fantastic mood and meaning, but just one misplaced word can scatter it into a conscious mess. Like autumn leaves, they can fall in such mesmerizing patterns and define vast landscapes...or clutter up in a frustrating mess or ugly piles at the end of the drive. You never leave your words in ugly piles. This piece is indeed mesmerizing, and it's really the simplicity of it, and then it is the fine detail in the simple presentation. Deeper hues and meanings. Sometimes it feels like people don't appreciate things like this anymore, I do. Great poem, man. Keep them coming. +tpu+"
    Posted by TheProphetUntold on "Driftwood; Stranded Ashore" by lupus tenebrae
  • "This was a difficult contest to judge, there were a few other poets who had 10's in merit easily. But when it came to the matter of element, they fell in the 6-7 range and this, in my opinion fell in the 8-9 range. Without further rambling I award you the prize and my respect, for such an accomplished, thought out and heart felt piece. 19/20 Phenomenal work, man. Take care.+tpu+ "
    Posted by TheProphetUntold on "A Fox in Mere Embers" by lupus tenebrae
  • "Old recordings do have a sort of magic to them. Keys to distant memories, even of ones we never had. Strange and enchanting. Cool piece. +tpu+"
    Posted by TheProphetUntold on "45 RPM" by lupus tenebrae
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