Comments by jonLyndon
- ""why I threw my umbrella out of the window" Love the wet, saxophone jazz feel of this poem, the Kind of Blue of Miles ~ anything Miles Davis like poetry in sketches. The speculations of the umbrella is a very cool touch & I love the poem's title. The only bit I didn't like was "like Moses did the Red Sea"; I understand what yer going for here & I really like the preceding line but I felt you could've used something more in tune w/ the poem... if I've never seen the Moses metaphor used before, than I'd like it. Apologies, but I've just read that metaphor one too many times... other than that, this is a spectacular poem. Don't change it for me, but if you think of another line I'd like to read it... a kinda love supreme. Blue In Green. Love this poem."
Posted by jonLyndon on "Rain & Jazz in Rm 272" by shortandpretentious
