Comments by All Members
- ""why I threw my umbrella out of the window" Love the wet, saxophone jazz feel of this poem, the Kind of Blue of Miles ~ anything Miles Davis like poetry in sketches. The speculations of the umbrella is a very cool touch & I love the poem's title. The only bit I didn't like was "like Moses did the Red Sea"; I understand what yer going for here & I really like the preceding line but I felt you could've used something more in tune w/ the poem... if I've never seen the Moses metaphor used before, than I'd like it. Apologies, but I've just read that metaphor one too many times... other than that, this is a spectacular poem. Don't change it for me, but if you think of another line I'd like to read it... a kinda love supreme. Blue In Green. Love this poem."
Posted by jonLyndon on "Rain & Jazz in Rm 272" by shortandpretentious
- "all this talk about love keeping us dry and whatnot, but then the only real emotion the narrator shows herself is the spiteful wishing that the girl with the umbrella would get wet and then the narrator stays dry despite her only displayed emotion as spite"
Posted by MercyRain on "Rain & Jazz in Rm 272" by shortandpretentious
- "i have mixed feelings about this poem... the rhythm, the flow, the wording, all that, it is an excellent write... it is just the last two lines of this poem though that seem to let me confused..."
Posted by MercyRain on "Rain & Jazz in Rm 272" by shortandpretentious
- ""like an airbag
deployed in the car crash we are...leaving only a self-portrait of blood
on the headrest and dashboard." damn...this is good stuff!"
Posted by Unknown on "metaphor" by shortandpretentious
- "Have to agree with ol' Solace below...I too am enthralled by your refreshingly unique style. I think we've all known someone like the girl you describe, a girl who allows herself to be a crutch but yet does more damage than good. Fan-bloomin'-tastic!"
Posted by carlosjackal on "the 1, 4, 5 progression" by shortandpretentious
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