My Demons of Addiction

By alaskanamber

I'm over loving drug addicts, pill poppers, and alcoholics.
No longer will I feed their addictions,
be their emotional battering rams.

For years I've watched my future go down the drain.
With each pill my husband snorted,
each shot my lover took.
Every time my papa called my heart lurched,
I feared it would be the last time we spoke.
Every man I've ever loved,
has loved his addictions more.

So I turn to you my lord, my moon, and my stars.
On my knees, my heart can't take anymore.
These days I wander through,
so bleak all I have left is you.
Before my faith was weak,
blurred by my love of my demons of addiction.

My heart whipped and beaten.
Until it retreated so deep within,
I no longer loved myself.
For days I walked, months I paced.
Everytime they turned to me, I turned away,
unable to take anymore broken promises.

Eventually, I ended up beside the sea.
As the sound of the surf washed over me I began to weep.
I raised my face to the sky,
let my sorrow overtake me.
In that moment I felt your hand on my shoulder.
Slowly my pain eased as my tears ran dry.
That turning point, so many days ago I've lost count,
feels like yesterday.

Every dawn since I've knelt,
offered you my love as you've taught me to love myself.
No longer do I feel guilt or pain.
I will always love my demons of addiction.
But with you there to guide me,
I'm strong enough to stand and softly say,
"no more".

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
© 2007 alaskanamber
Published on Friday, January 19, 2007.     Filed under: "Personal" and "Poetry"
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Comments on "My Demons of Addiction"

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  • A former member wrote: "Every man I've ever loved, has loved his addictions more." God isn't that the truth. I can relate to this, and that's not a good thing.

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