Painful Secrets

Sitting on my floor, razor blade in hand
i let out a cry... a cry for help.
no one can hear me, because i'm all alone.
i start slitting, but i slit way too deep.
i can only think of the secrets that have caused my pain.


i never told anyone when they raped me.
i can't forgive myself for letting that shit happen.
my head was bashed against the wall
and i cried for them to let me free.
but why let me go? they didn't care.
they laughed in my face and called me names.
fucked me... beat me... threw me around.
some drugged me too.
they became superior...
make it stop!

then there was this guy, i loved him to death.
hell, i still love him,
but does he really even care?
he dumped my ass right after we got caught...
and now i wonder if i really meant anything to him,
or if i'm just a piece of shit.

i am all alone... with no one...
it has always been this way.
i long for true friends
and someone who i can truly count on to be there for me forever.
someone who will love me... care for me... listen to me
and tell me that everything will be ok.

i used to get the shit beaten out of me everyday,
but no one would listen to me...
no one cared.

i cry myself to sleep sometimes
thinking about my fucked up life and my fucked up self.

God there's so many more secrets
and so much more pain...

i can't take the guilt of my secrets.