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Dying Inside
By murderedhearts_blood
no one's ever there
and no one ever cares.
rejection weakens me,
and pain wrips at my heart.
no one will ever understand what i'm going through...
who i am... why i'm still here.
i don't have a purpose,
and i don't have a life.
i don't have anyone anymore.
i don't even have myself.
i've lost who i am.
i've lost who i love.
i've lost my soul and heart.
i'm all alone with my pain...
with my fear...
with a razor blade.
i'm slitting open my flesh.
i can't take being me... being no one.
so as i sit and watch the blood flow from my wounds,
i watch my ruined life flash before my eyes.
i lay down in my pool of blood and i cry.
i weap for what i could've had as i lay dying.
now my body's lifeless as i'm laying on my floor.
no one can hurt me anymore,
and i'm gone from this horrifying life.
gone from this shitty world.
this ending was the worst of all, though.
the ending of life,
and the beginning of hell all over agian.
i'm watching the people
that are crying at my funeral.
i never realized how many people cared.
all of this is gone...
just because i was dying inside.
Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited.
Ask the author first.
© 2005 murderedhearts_bloodofevil
Published on Friday, October 21, 2005.
Filed under: "Depressed" and
Comments on "Dying Inside"
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A former member wrote:
wow thats pretty sad.I can relate to that feeling i like this poem
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On Thursday, November 10, 2005, Myrrhkuri the fallen one
(94)
wrote:
this is tragic...if you need to talk myrrhkurifyve@yahoo.com email I am a vetran cutter and know how you feel.
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On Wednesday, August 5, 2020, murderedhearts_blood
(24) wrote:
Thank you so much for your comment which really means a lot to me!! I’m really sorry that it has taken me over one decade to reply, but I was shipped away to a boarding school which is not really a boarding school for the 10th time being sent away (unless you include my birth mother and my foster mothers), and I completely forgot about this site! Thank you so much again!
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On Wednesday, November 2, 2005, suicidalsecrecy
(43) wrote:
talk just come and get me ok? we all need someone to talk to about cutting perhaps we'll be good for one another, eh? ~s.s.
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On Wednesday, August 5, 2020, murderedhearts_blood
(24) wrote:
Thank you so much! I will definitely do that very soon, and things have really changed in my life since then, and not in a good way.
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On Wednesday, November 2, 2005, suicidalsecrecy
(43) wrote:
if you ever need to talk about anything just dp email me or aim me at kateus2005... i'm kateus on myspace too i share your emotional torment with the razor blade to skin thing i am also a cutter.. funny... razor is my choice as well.. if you EVER need to
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On Wednesday, November 2, 2005, suicidalsecrecy
(43) wrote:
this speaks so loudly to me its absolutely amazing that your words are almost identical to a poem i had posted called scars. i'll have to repost it for you to read. the intensity with which this is written is remarkable.
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On Friday, October 21, 2005, urbanhumility
(1175) wrote:
there is no "mark" for despair, it is constant and happens forever.........you have given residence to some emotion of mine.....thank you............well done.............urban
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On Wednesday, August 5, 2020, murderedhearts_blood
(24) wrote:
Trust me, I know that it never goes away. Every single fucked up thing that has ever happened to me and that has been lost to me will never go away, and I will always feel like I want to die. I want to die from the first time that I wake up, to the afternoon, evening, and even in my dreams. I can’t get away from that feeling, and I wish that there was a way to completely eradicate that feeling from people forever. I’m sorry that it has taken me over one decade to reply. I completely forgot about this site, and I was shipped off to my 10th boarding school which was not really a boarding school at all… it was pure agony and I cannot even begin to describe just how horrific, fucked up, evil, and cruel they were, I’m on so many more things like that… It is still inside of me and it still affects my life so much, and I don’t think that that feeling will go away ever either.
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