So you stumble across deadened streets,
looking into windows-
begging for goodbyes & the ending kiss..
Weeping willows weep

Cause leaving that way would be so much prettier,
and who knows how beautiful
our pain is
. . .

Burns and cuts were once comfort
to rusted lips,
smoke tongues . rippled effect
..the words I choked out could be so fucking amazing,
but soaked in blood & the sickest rhyme

Did every hit make you certain of a future?
A sooner-or-later that was promised from the beginning..
Circles and tongues on fingers,
no need for rings

[do you remember?]

We deserved our hearts,
we could have had our hearts...

So listen while I dot plainly along the lines,
connections that should have spoken to you then-
will meet you tonight..
Oh, how our lies played games with time,
too sure to give a fuck now.

My dream tells me that I cried smothered drunk the other night..
holding your marijuana stenched letter,
I didn't take the time to read it,
I only allowed my head to spin for awhile.

Soon, it was all gone

I fell and bruised my 'perfect' hips, the perfect lust..
and that feeling was removed,
all left purity

Placed into another boy's hands,
another boy with another heart

[let me leave my past, allow this line my last]

We're perfect now, and they are no one..
when words meant nothing
I allowed my faith stolen
..myself to a thief

give me my speech,
myself torn apart
.. I want it all back,
I was never anything when she was always there..

October- I knew his hands, yes..
soon after you knew her,
and ours was ours no longer.
January- fucking heartbreak,
and St.Valentine was worse..

I saw him cry

March- you came back,
open.mind
open.legs
open.heart
fucking rip me apart


Oh, take me away-
my exits,
they
save
me
now

..

I remember all the things you said,
and let the tears roll-
Here I am,
a statue of the 'beautiful ugly'

Do you like what you see?
Naked flashes of me
Oh, never perfect
We were never perfect

I was fucked up, trying to speak-
wishing that poetry would explode straight out of my
mouth..
and maybe I wouldn't taste the words or feel
the pain..
I knew not pain..

I kissed the ugly tiles
and painted smeared mascara portraits of
you & I

all that was nothing,
all that will never be..

So say goodbye, allow the plastic eyes to cry
I am no one perfect, but without you I am beautiful..


Let me leave my past,
allow this line my last

. . . ..