"Him"

By Forever Cold

I still look for you in the parking lot from time to time.
Its not like I think you will be there, but sort of a hope,
That maybe these thing were all in my head, that the
Night never did happen. But I was there, I know all
To well it did. I look back on it all now, and I see how
I blamed myself for it all; I was so young then. And
Really there was nothing I could do to help you. But
Gods know if I had known what you were going to do,
I would have said something besides “I wish you would
Just go away!” How could I have known how depressed
you really were, you always seemed like you were fine, but
I guess that’s the way it goes isn’t it? Gods you seemed
So normal, that night by the falls, when you asked me to
Be yours I can remember it perfectly.

The shy was so dark we could every star as if it were set on black velvet, and the moon shown every thing around us in a beautiful glow. Just like we did when we were kids, sitting there at the rocks at the bottom of the fall you could see everything. The whole world around you seemed calmer there, every bit of the earth seemed to connect to the sky, and all that time, I was worried about my make up. I could hear him fiddling around the back of his car looking for something but it didn’t really make that much of a difference at the time. Mitch was always loosing things any way. But the way he looked that night, I remember very well.
He took the time to spike his hair and tint it red, witch he doesn’t often do. Black jeans at least five sizes to big like always, and chains hung to his side and made noise every time he moved. There was just something about the way he looked that night, and aura I guess you could call it, but what ever it was he was positively glowing. “Mitch what are you doing? I am getting lonely over here” I said in a half mocking tone.” Hold on I just have to find something” he said trying to overpower the sound of the crashing falls. Moments later he slammed the door shut and in a half skip run over to me and sat down beside me like he always did. He had a smile on his face so I knew he was hiding something. “What are you up to?” I asked softly. He did nothing but smile lovingly at me and say” nothing I am just glad to be here with you again like we used to”. Though I did not think that was the reason it was good enough an answer for me. I cued and nusseled beside him. We sit there for what seems like hours and talk of various things, “ why do you think club vortex closed down?” I ask, “well I heard it was a problem with the pluming.” Mitch replayed. And on we went talking about this and that. I lay back on the blanket and out stretched my arms, and he lay down beside me looking at me the whole time. “What do you think will happen to us in the years to come?” I asked, something we talk about all the time he simply kissed me on the forehead and said” I donno, you will have to tell me that.” I was confused that was not the answer I was looking for. He turned to me and got something out of his pocket and said, “this is something I have had for a wile now”, as he gave me a small black box. I sat up immedatly, with a startled and excited look on my face I ask, ”what is this?” Lovingly he smiles back “open it”. A black diamond.. Set in tarnished silver. I gasped for breath. “I know it’s not a normal diamond, but I had hoped perhaps this was a better choice.” He said as he removed the ring from its case and placed it on my finger. I was still speechless, all the words I wanted to say stuck hard in my throat. He smiles jokingly at me “forever isn’t that long to put up with me is it?” Still speachless I turn to him look deep in to him. All I see is perfect love, in his eyes all I can see is love. I kiss him deeply, with more passion in that kiss then I think there has been before. As he warped his arms around me I felt safe, like the world could come crashing down around us and he would protect me. I look down at my dress my eyes fixed on the ground, “forever?” I say as I move my eyes up to meet his. “Forever is not enough, all eternity sounds better.” He hugged me tightly and showered me with kisses. ”Darling I will give you any thing you ever ask of me.” He said. I replied “all I ask is that you love me”.

Gods did I love you. There was no wrong you could
Commit in my eyes. I only wish I knew then what
I know now. I wish I had seen it comeing. I wish I
Would have known, maybe we could have gone
Thurght it together. I never cared about money, though
You always though I did. I would have told you that
That job didn’t matter that you would find a new one.
That all the mounting bills we could deal with together.
You never had to go through it all alone. I was there.
Then came the phone call.

“Is this Miss Jennifer white?”
“Yes it is”
“May I ask your relation ship to one Mitch sevens?”
“He is my fiancée, why is there something wrong?”
“Madame he is in the hospital, in critical condition”
“What happened? Is he going to be ok?”
“You better get down to Saint Jerome hospital as soon as you can”
“What happened?”
“He doesn’t have much time left.”
“Oh god..”

I remember it so well. And now her I am, here at your grave.
It’s funny, how it all happened so fast. Every day after school
I used to look for you in the parking lot at school. And now
I look and you’re never there. I go to the falls and see you there
Smiling back at me and I want to let it all go. You promised
Me forever, do you remember that? Well maybe forever,
Isn’t that far away.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2004 Forever Cold
Published on Thursday, February 5, 2004.     Filed under: "Poetry"
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Comments on ""Him""

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  • A former member wrote: this is very sad.. thx for sharing this piece im touched...

  • Spikes_of_Blue On Thursday, April 15, 2004, Spikes_of_Blue (42)By person wrote:

    wow absolutely beautiful...made me tear up...that never happens...such a wonderful and sad story.

  • A former member wrote: Wow.. This is beautiful, and very sad. I don't know what to say. If this is true, I'm so sorry. ~Wish Upon A Star

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