Indulging in Emotions

*sigh*
 

I fail, like so many times before 

Cliches adorned with love 
Are a pale comparison 

Because it is not exactly love 
& 
Not exactly lust 

Need & Desire 
Are so much more complex

 A simple soft spoken phone call 
Is divine to the grotesque 
Like forehead kisses to the detached

A simple promise...
"I wont indulge in emotions..."
 

When I am lost in feeling
... Is unfair...

Though, I am lacking 
Adequate words 
To dress you lavishly with 

Something deeper then real 
& 
More than true

When you hear my name...
Do you think silently, she is mine...

Or so I used to think...

The silence in unannounced titles
Could be the answer to forevers question

Love isn't sufficient

For what I seek from you
Cant only be found 
Inside such a simplistic word

I need...
A no matter what ...
When my head torpedoes through tornadoes
A shard collector 
For when I detonate the self destructor 

I need... 
Trust & Loyalty 
I have quelled my demons
To the point only I can hear them whisper...
Unfortunately at times I lack the correct translation 
& 
Need an on call confessional 
Trusted enough to endure its penance 
 

Secrets only atrophy love 
When held between lovers
 

But you said...
I'll have you now...
& of course again
Till I don't 
& 
Then I'll let you know

It's been a long time...
Since I thought someone irreplaceable...
I could never go back to just friends...
 

I hope this doesn't hurt....