Cruel Intoxication

“I love you” rolls off her lips like a harsh slap as I look back,
Her dark brown eyes shimmer with the satisfaction of my pain.

Her words are nothing but a blade to cut myself with,
a pill to kill myself with.
She stole my heart then crushed it,
ripped apart my dignity.

She left me with nothing but my pain.
My heart wrenching, life smothering pain.
I’m suffocating in the smoke of my last cigarette.

Her touch,
oh, her hypnotizing touch,
starts to burn my skin.
I’m turning to ash,
she laughs.

How can one be so, intoxicating, yet cruel?
I’m lost in a maze of my depression and she plays off that.

She wormed her way inside,
pulled off my mask,
told me it was going to be okay.

She held me when my tears ran their course down my cheeks,
then moments after,
she was the cause of my tears.

She was my sanity,
my reason to live.

Now I’m withering away.
I may have won the battle,
but I’m losing the war.

Nothing is the same.