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Skeletons
By malevolencefixation
Once upon a time,
Very long ago
There was a time filled
With sunshine before
The darkness overwhelmed
This place reminds me
Of then, brightly lit with
Sunshine before the
Endless winter came
To turn the beauty
Into skeletons
Of what they used to be.
Now they are budding again,
rebuilding themselves,
Scarred, but optimistic.
Skeletons cast shadows
upon a beaten path
Shadows of crosses
As God reminds us
That he is always
Watching, waiting for
The day we will join him
Or decide to live
In the eternal
Suffering of Hell.
Our beloved Earth,
In all her beauty,
In actuality
Is Hell, here to tempt
People with sin
To Turn us into
Skeletons of who
We once were and the
Image we see when
We look in the mirror
There is evil in
Our dead eyes as we
See Satan staring
Back at us. We are
Trees, stripped of our leaves
Skeletons of people.
We do not think. We
Go through life, conformed,
Pretending to be
Things we are not, we
Find easier ways
To do the simple
Tasks we've been assinged
Creating our own
Complicated rules
While God watches us
Disect his word, hoping
To give ourselves one
More shred of hope, like
Trees budding in the
Spring, asking God for
One more chance, one
More opportunity
To be good, the ones
He created. But
Fall will always come
Again, and the trees
Will lose their leaves. As
Once again, we're skeletons
Of who we want to be.
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Copyright 2014 malevolencefixation
Published on Tuesday, September 9, 2014.
Filed under: "Reflective" and
"Poetry"
Comments on "Skeletons"
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On Wednesday, September 10, 2014, Aleas
(171)
wrote:
God pieces for me are always very tricky. Perhaps it's just because i feel it's impossible to comprehend something...impossible. The devil - that's possible. It's so simple to imagine the depravity one can reach. It's not so easy to conceive the opposite. I found myself wishing that I was taken on more of a personal journey, though still sacred, and less a commentary on "we"/all of us. However, again, to be honest, I think I should have come back to this at a later time, as I may have tainted myself with the rapid repeat of several words in the first half of the piece (my stupid peeves!). I'm sorry! Cheers.
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On Wednesday, September 10, 2014, malevolencefixation
(22) wrote:
In response to this part of your commentary, I wasn't writing it from a personal view. The metaphor that is carried obviously through the poem is trees. It was not a singular tree, therefore I did not want it to be about a singular person. I feel that society as a whole right now is on a fast track to having absolutely no morals. I tried to demonstrate that, and I'm sorry you weren't able to get that out of the poem. The concept of the poem as a whole was repetition... It's about seasons, which are on a constant cycle of repetition. I like the first three lines, because although redundant, they make me feel a certain kind of suspense. The entire thing was supposed to be read at an urgent, fast pace. I'm also not sure to what you are referring about grammar mistakes? I was always under the impression that a poetic license allows me to bend the rules of grammar a tad, if you will. I'm sorry you weren't a fan. Cheers to you too!
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On Wednesday, September 10, 2014, Aleas
(171) wrote:
An honest critique coinciding with a pet peeve in poetry of mine (I don't have many, I promise), was the repeat of a word at the very beginning. You say ..."once upon a time, very long ago, there was a time..." My mind is beset with redundancy. It thinks 'once upon a time itself suggests very long ago' and 'once upon a time...there was a time' - too many times! And then my tiny puppy brought me his tiny frisbee and i lost track of reality. Onward to the rest of the poem, now, in feeling, and not in grammar. Cheers!
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On Wednesday, September 10, 2014, malevolencefixation
(22) wrote:
I think we may simply have different styles. I enjoy repetition. It hooks me to have some repition due to the lack if rhyme in the poem. I appreciate the comment though. Poetry is just such a diverse thing. We can't all like everything I suppose
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A former member wrote:
Very interesting point of view about god, life and us.. I like very much your metaphor of the human race, the skeletons and the trees.. Trying to be something/someone that they are not.. That's the sad reality nowadays.. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! :)
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