i want to feel joy again

Bull by the horns and
feet furroughed deep i am
torn between my love
and my promises and word
i married you in ernest
.
When we are not near 
our daughter, i am alone
missing old girl friend
for the most part i didn't talk
to her, but she talked to me
.
introverted soul
i was never much for crowds
i would go with you
with my newer speach problems
you call it just dramatic
.
inadequacies
on my part make me surprised
and in truth worried 
that you have not asked to "play"
but i would be "open" too
.
near celibacy
cannot be good for either
of us, i would say
and my reach is not getting longer
but the distance twixt us is