12:37 Brandy [spills all over me]
By Dejected_Worth
"I hope these vodka covered kisses keep coming"
Her words ringing [in and out of context]
The metronome clicking to .broken. heart(beats)
She was always .more or less. A graceful dancer
But the body glitter barely does her Blue eyes justice
But from the cheers, I'd say the fellas love it
Even if no one knows why Brandy does this.
She melted in my lap, like .fermented. fruit
[It was Junior Prom all over again]
Long before the "morning after" pill
When cheap motel rooms were first-time venues
And abortion was a word "good girls" didn't use
Back when Brandy was pretty, and smelt like poetry.
Back before I had more to offer then balled up 20's
And reminding her of [the first time] she said she loved me
"I hope these vodka covered kisses keep coming"
She doesn't taste as sweet as I'd remembered
But who am I to say [she's different]
This .isn't. a "feel good" kind of movie
it's the next to last page
in the journal of a faded beauty...
But Brandy never ages as well as whiskey.
And I'm just a line of bathroom stall graffiti,
Not the artist she's remembering
But there's no need to question raw intensity
And this time she won't hate me in the morning.
Brandy spills, flowing through my eager fingers
..I hope these vodka covered kisses keep coming..
Comments on "12:37 Brandy [spills all over me]"
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A former member wrote:
Some body's got wicked talent, you have crushed this piece, dude!
Bravo! a masterwork!
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A former member wrote:
Trying to hide a much blacker meaning in a...how shall i say it...utmost colourful, red-pink venue, scented with booze and love (but who am i to say such a thing, i cant even smell in the first place ahah..) it is a bittersweet concept, of a lusty, but much more abyssal meaning. A light, but also dark read to me which i -did- enjoy.
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On Wednesday, December 25, 2013, soul_versing
(882) wrote:
Breathtakingly heartbreaking. I cannot say more... Bows-
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On Wednesday, December 25, 2013, heroineyes
(113) wrote:
i really liked... but i feel you wanted to say more with less...which made me feel this was a tad wordy... too much good stuff in one venue... you don't buy a girl a diamond ring on the first date ... if that makes sense...
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On Wednesday, December 25, 2013, heroineyes
(113) wrote:
i say that because you use the styles well, but scitter-scatter... i would have enjoyed 4 different poems with one stanza better than 4 stanzas in one poem...i like to see/hear/experience the suspense/progression...
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On Wednesday, December 25, 2013, heroineyes
(113) wrote:
"I hope these vodka covered kisses keep coming" Her words ringing [in and out of context] The metronome clicking to .broken. heart(beats) She was always .more or less. A graceful dancer But the body glitter barely does her Blue eyes justice But from the cheers, I'd say the fellas love it Even if no one knows why Brandy does this.
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On Wednesday, December 25, 2013, heroineyes
(113) wrote:
She melted in my lap, like .fermented. fruit [It was Junior Prom all over again] Long before the "morning after" pill When cheap motel rooms were first-time venues And abortion was a word "good girls" didn't use Back when Brandy was pretty, and smelt like poetry. Back before I had more to offer then balled up 20's And reminding her of [the first time] she said she loved me
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On Wednesday, December 25, 2013, heroineyes
(113) wrote:
"I hope these vodka covered kisses keep coming" She doesn't taste as sweet as I'd remembered But who am I to say [she's different] This .isn't. a "feel good" kind of movie it's the next to last page in the journal of a faded beauty... But Brandy never ages as well as whiskey. And I'm just a line of bathroom stall graffiti, Not the artist she's remembering But there's no need to question raw intensity And this time she won't hate me in the morning. Brandy spills, flowing through my eager fingers ..I hope these vodka covered kisses keep coming..
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On Wednesday, December 25, 2013, heroineyes
(113) wrote:
the broken up stanzas make a great sequence of suspense...but that's a view i hold