Do I dare to dream

once I called the moonlight
daring to dream
that I might one day
love and live with the woman for me
.
finding her, cruel time stole my soul
sacrificed on the altar of pride and society
.
she and my exwife didn't understand that
the stones "trust" and "decision" didn't
mean that I had any choice
in staying with the woman I always loved,
or staying with the woman I married because it was expected
.
and again I lost the one
that owns sole claim to my soul
.
I still dream at night
I still sit up late, dreaming of her
the passionate kiss after I explained part of "bullet with butterfly wings"
the time she lied to the police to save the one she endangered
.
she doesn't like it when I tell
her that I never stopped loving her
.
and every night my hope of seeing her again in this life fades
should her life fade
mine not far to follow
.

missing her in the dark silences of the night
tears gaps in my mind
I stay up late
to avoid my dreams