Sound Track of My Life (HTML)

By BetaWolfinVA

Note: This is not a chronology of SONGS, so a contemporary song could be used to describe / accent a time period anachronistic by 40 years.

Sound Track of My Life - Pandora
Pandora Station Seeded from the below Songs
 


======================
The Early Years
1973 - 1992 (19 years old)
======================
Harry Chapin - Dancin' Boy - YouTube
Harry Chapin - Flowers are Red - YouTube
Harry Chapin - Cat's in the Cradle - YouTube

One thing that you learn being an Army Brat, is that it is no use making friends, because you will always loose them as they move away, or, finally, as you move away.


======================
After High School, and until I met Raven for the first time
1992 - 1996 (23 Years old)
======================
Garth Brooks - Friends in Low Places - YouTube
Toby Keith - I Love This Bar - YouTube
Johnny Lee - Looking for Love - YouTube
Looking Glass - Brandy You're a Fine Girl - YouTube
Owl City - Fireflies - YouTube

Note: I have never been much of a drinker, i would be the guy sitting in a bar, reading, and watching the ladies go by, just hoping that one of them was a reader too that would express an interest in the book i was reading.
Often, i would go up to DC and go to places that were not exactly Bars, that were more, shall we say, spectator oriented with very good scenery.
At least there i could interact with women, and i could better know the cues and morays.


======================
the Three Years that both made and broke my life
1996 - 1999 (26 Years Old)
======================================
The Police - Don't Stand So Close To Me - YouTube
Gary Puckett And The Union Gap - Young Girl - YouTube
Sheryl Crow & Stevie Nicks - Strong Enough (To Be My Man) - YouTube
Travis Tritt - Strong Enough (To Be Your Man) - YouTube
The Cardigans - Lovefool - YouTube
Pink - Don't Let Me Get Me - YouTube

After I met Raven, Everything Changed, I will call her Raven for the Red-Auburn hair that she always dyed black during this period.


======================
Intermezzo
1996 – 2000
======================
Paul McCartney - Band on the Run - YouTube
Radiohead - Creep - YouTube
Garth Brooks - Friends in Low Places - YouTube
Toby Keith - I Love This Bar - YouTube
Johnny Lee - Looking for Love - YouTube

For some reason, i did not look for Raven during this period, i would always be trying to build a relationship with someone, and Raven would destroy it by a careless call, text, or eMail.  and by the time i broke free, she would be with someone else. 
 

======================
My First Marriage
2000 - 2007 (34 Years Old)
======================
Cat Stevens - First Cut Is The Deepest - YouTube
Phil Collins & Marilyn Martin - Separate Lives - YouTube
Garth Brooks - Thunder Rolls (extended version) - YouTube
Al Stewart - Year Of The Cat - YouTube
Adele - Someone like you - YouTube
Train - Drive By - YouTube
Goo Goo Dolls - Name - YouTube
Goo Goo Dolls - Iris - YouTube

Mainly got married because it was expected, towards the end of it, i started to believe that i got married to whom i got married to in order to punish myself over Raven.
When Raven returned to my life, i realized that I still loved Raven, regardless of her getting tired of waiting, i always have, and probably always will.I have a strange sense of integrity, it wasn't until "Porcelain Doll" screwed up and let me discover that she was looking for a Lawyer that i felt free to do what I had wanted since 2003. Unfortunately Raven got married in 2004 to someone (SamWise) that she did not have to share.
 

======================
Intermezzo
2007 - 2010 (37 Years)
======================
Radiohead - Creep - YouTube
Garth Brooks - Friends in Low Places - YouTube
Toby Keith - I Love This Bar - YouTube
Johnny Lee - Looking for Love - YouTube

In Which I try to find someone to spend my life which on Match.com, Yahoo Personals and AdultFriendFinder.com, eventually finding the one that I will call Gaia, for the Earth Mother of olden times. 
 

======================
My Second Marriage
2010 to April 2012 (39 Years Old)
==============================
Rod Stewart - First Cut Is The Deepest - YouTube
Train-Hey,soul sister - YouTube
Five Man Electrical Band - Signs - YouTube
Train - Marry Me  - YouTube
Phil Collins & Marilyn Martin - Separate Lives - YouTube
Rupert Holmes - Escape (If You Like Pina Coladas) - YouTube

Shading from Happiness to indifference over the course of 622 days, 
 

======================
2nd Marriage Denouement
April 2012 to August 2012
======================
Adele - Someone like you - YouTube
Adele - I Can't Make You Love Me - YouTube
Train - Drive By - YouTube
Kelly Clarkson - Dark Side - YouTube
Cindy Lauper - True Colors - YouTube
3 Doors Down - Your Arms Feel Like Home - YouTube
George Michael - I Can't Make You Love Me - YouTube
Dirty Vegas - " Days Go By " - YouTube
The Clash - Should I Stay Or Should I Go - YouTube
Kelly Clarkson Walk Away - YouTube
Garth Brooks - Thunder Rolls (extended version) - YouTube
Rascal Flatts - I'm Movin' On - YouTube
Tom Petty - Free Falling - YouTube
Lynyrd Skynyrd - FreeBird - YouTube
The Eagles -Take It Easy - YouTube
The Eagles - Desperado - YouTube

i play halo to 3 am, i go to chat rooms on the computer, basicly getting my social interaction online

Raven Sends me a FaceBook Message, in February when her husband is having depression issues, i dont respond until i think that my wife is interested in "playing".  I do not confirm this with her, i start Messenging Raven on FaceBook, and we eventually start texting, this goes on until the big storm in June... 

I confess to My Wife Gaia... 

Then sometime between July and August i start texting Raven again, by the time of my anniversery mid August, raven blocked me on facebook, and sent messages to gaia, telling her that i was trying to keep raven interested in talking to me despite not having gaia's permission.


======================
Chaos Cascade
September 2012 - October 2012
=======================
Billy Joel - You May Be Right - YouTube
TOOL - Pushit - YouTube
Marilyn Manson - Sweet dreams (are made of this) - YouTube
Coldplay - Fix You - YouTube
Brad Paisley Alison Krauss - Whiskey Lullaby - YouTube

With Raven no longer communicating with me, i look for something to replace what I lost i am vulnerable to the casual flirting going on in a chat room, and eventually it  gets serious. 

First WolfsBane makes me love her, then discards me after i make her Jealous...thing is, i was trying to tell her that I wanted only her, and was trying to figure out a way to leave Gaia without the history with Raven biting me in the ass. Unfortunately, I mentioned what I had to overcome first.



======================
Chaos Cascade
October 2012 - Present
=======================
Dan Fogelberg - Leader of the Band - YouTube
David Lee Murphy - Dust On The Bottle - YouTube
Katy Perry - Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F) - YouTube
F.U.N. - We Are Young - YouTube
F.U.N. Some Nights - YouTube
Wade Hayes - Old Enough To Know Better - YouTube
Willie Nelson - Whiskey River - YouTube
3 Doors Down - Your Arms Feel Like Home - YouTube
George Michael - I Can't Make You Love Me - YouTube

I am in therapy now, and the thing that I am trying to gain is giving myself permission to get divorced, and stop waiting on her to leave me... I have betrayed Gaia Four times, thrice with months of texting - wanting friendship with Raven, my first love, and once wanting to find a true (if virtuReal) relationship to replace the one that I could not have with Raven...

it ended badly, dragging me under, and burning the bridges to my last support structure.  Being trapped between desperately wanting my freedom and not wanting to hurt the one whose only crime is not letting me go...
I am being ground under.

But as I have betrayed Gaia, perhaps loosing my sanity is just vengeance for my crimes against Raven, the betrayal of Porcelain Doll (my first wife), and the betrayal of Gaia (my second wife)... both betrayals being at the behest of Raven, my first love. 
And when Raven responds, it still feels as sweet - her friendship keeps away my pain, and shores me up out of the guilt and darkness believing her lies all those years ago still causes me today.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2013 HHMCameron
Published on Saturday, February 23, 2013.     Filed under: "Personal" and "Poetry"

Author's Note:

Well, good music and a bad story... well... what do you think?
Log In or Join (free) to see the special features here.

Comments on "Sound Track of My Life (HTML)"

Log in to post comments.
  • Ravenblade On Sunday, February 24, 2013, Ravenblade (313)By person wrote:

    This sounds like a familiar story...I don't dare indulge as much as you...but it looks like as tortured as you are, you're getting to where you need to be, inching there slowly, but like Aesop said, slow and steady wins the race.

  • BetaWolfinVA On Sunday, February 24, 2013, BetaWolfinVA (795)By person wrote:

    what do you mean by indulge? put so much of my life on the net? after goddess of ravens, i feel like i am on borrowed time... Scholar

  • BetaWolfinVA On Sunday, February 24, 2013, BetaWolfinVA (795)By person wrote:

    I do think that i need to find a URL for a YouTube video or MP3 for "a Day in the life of Christopher Robin" it would have been released on Vinyl some time before January of 1973. Scholar

Contribution Level

BetaWolfinVA's Favorite Poets
BetaWolfinVA's Favorite Works
Share/Save This Post



Join DarkPoetry Join to get a profile like this for yourself. It's quick and free.

How to Criticize Without Causing Offense
© 1998-2024 DarkPoetry LLC
Donate
[Join (free)]    [More Poetry]    [Get Help]    [Our Poets]    [Read Poems]    [Terms & Privacy]