Nail varnish nightmare

By Stephanie Sideways

I wish I was clever at painting my nails
But varnish just laughs in my face
I try to paint flawlessly, but doomed to fail
The lacquer won't stay in its place

I start off determined that perfect they'll be
The left hand come close to the mark
I let them dry out so they'll stay all smudge free
And then on the right, I'll embark

This is where 'do it yourself' cannot work
As ambidextrous I am not
It looks like a three year old child's gone berserk
So I end up removing the lot

Even if polish keeps where it is meant
With cuticles sitting unscathed
I guarantee before an hour is spent
Their surface looks dull and engraved!

The science of make up has answered our prayers
With the smudge and chip free makes about
I 'll have to remortgage my house but who cares
I'll flaunt my nails more when I'm out!

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2012 Stephanie Sideways
Published on Sunday, December 30, 2012.     Filed under: "Comedy" and "Poetry"

Author's Note:

I am putting this on as it was inspired by my first attempt at chatter in here. I though I would try and multitask and paint my nails at the same time, a stupid idea!
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Comments on "Nail varnish nightmare "

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  • dwells On Monday, December 31, 2012, dwells (4288)By person wrote:

    Wait until you get too fat to do your toenails! (HA) - and chat can be like that, cheers!

  • Markus Darkscribe On Sunday, December 30, 2012, Markus Darkscribe (60)By person wrote:

    Very good rhyming . I'll have to take your word about the nail painting thing never tried it. Honest ...:] Bravo on the pen

  • deathndismay On Sunday, December 30, 2012, deathndismay (93)By person wrote:

    Nice!!! I painted my daughters nails once... She wont let me anymore!!!

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