Crash Canyon

 



Like being patronized? Like having the obvious explained in grating detail? Do you wish that these qualities were available in a more convenient outlet? Then look no further than Crash Canyon, a shining example of Canadian television. I can spare no detail, and by that I mean, I’ll share my tale of woe.

Filled with jokes that the laughing idiot would find tasteless, this show is still fairly cherry. I’ve only watched it in small doses on Youtube, as prolonged exposure might be deadly. It’s the story of a hapless family, getting stuck in a canyon full of miscreants, and every stereotype under the sun. A full palette almost, but no obvious Jew and/or Italian wise guy, maybe season two?  

Another thing to note, is the distinct lack of swearing, not a “damn” to be found, but there’s plenty of implied taboo, of the immature sort. Farts, masturbation, incest, all disguised in uninteresting ways, makes you pine for Paint: The Movie, doesn’t it?
The punch lines are predictable, and would make an onion or Carlos Mencia, cry. For a self described “comedy” there was no noticeable laughter on my end. I found watching it was a depressive and daunting task, as the humour is flat, like the talking heads behind its conception.

The animation is much akin to paper coming to life, and reenacting its favorite Family Guy shorts. Stiff movements, a flipbook is a decent alternative, and no overused jokes come with it! 

As previously stated, the show is quite patronizing to the viewer, it finds the constant need to over explain itself. Seriously, I found myself watching a one minute bit of dialogue, leading to neon signs pointing out the sarcasm only Helen Keller would miss. Don’t treat your viewers like monkeys, as with the last remaining functions in their fingers, they can easily turn the channel.

There is little to no consistency, and the show is constantly breaking its own established rules. There’s a fine line between “rebel with a cause” and “moron with Microsoft Paint knowledge”, as someone comfortably on the fence, I look upon them and grimace. Need an example? One of the characters is scooter-bound, as in, can’t walk of his own volition. In later episodes, without explanation, he’s seen WALKING!

Without a doubt, a mind-numbing experience, and blunt trauma seems more conversation worthy at the pub. If you wish to be desensitized to humour for a time, watch it. If you’re already despising life, and want no more encouragement towards the brink, stay downwind of the methane farm that is Crash Canyon.