so we both wonder at the source
of our love and affection
our mutual adoration
our introspective devotion, toward
each other

was it not 'love at first sight'?
surely we tell ourselves to expect it not the case
for our eyes did not seem to light up
and dance among the bright fires
or with the shining stars

yet I get the sense
as I realize my own growth
from man to 'man'
from self-actualized, to self-aware
to myself within your being

I see that if I look back
if we both look in that reverse direction
a sense of recognition beckons forth
such that any instantaneous gesture was itself
perhaps, a bit inhibited, a bit constrained

perhaps subdued were we
both with our own sensations
our need for self-preservation
a time of trust to be held, in preparation
unknown to either of us

so I think, I dream, I seek out
that precious time, that precious
moment, when I first set my eyes upon your
sweet form, when I first came into your presence
my complement first noticed

upon that chair, within your element, you sat
permission to sit next you, granted
short, quaint discussion, provided
substantive question-and-answer, attained
your intellect, exquisite beauty and elegance, admired

foundation set to acquire positive motion
we exchanged more than just numbers
more than just a line of communication
a solid step toward our mutual, discrete awareness
our intimate bonding, and beyond

and now, within your presence, your sense
a true being have I become, no longer mere potential
action and priority are re-directed, I have grown
I see myself through you, reflected, refracted
I am more of myself now, more of a man

it is our strength that shines through
over obstacle, and through tough times
beneath the barbed wire of mis-communication
around the mine fields of mistrust
as we continue to tear down our walls

it is simply this: our respective choices
which mattered most, more than
attractive visage, sweet smiles, or fluttering eyelids
can display, more than a simple
heartbeat at play

though no apparent spark of infatuation unveiled
that surface bliss which lasts but a few months then fades
and though no temporary loss of sanity availed --
in their stead, ours is a craziness to last decades
ours is a permanent bond of devotion

that is the point, upon reflection, which is now
attained through recognition, that though we may have
filtered out the sublime sensations, though we may have
guarded against the silly gestures, surely
we were, at once, both present in each other's thoughts

such that I can, now, without reservation
without the need for self-preservation
move beyond the trite declaration
and state fully, directly, and without restraint
simply, that I love you

always have, always will

since the very
first moment
I laid mine eyes


upon you