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i wrote it because
By Jonas
i am breakfast cereal have another bowl of me
the vacancy in the stare and the fare collected
reflect the shiver in lines of natural poetry
symbols imposed on the impetus of the moment
where a shower is wasted because there are words to say
to no one
the page is a vacuum there is no such thing as suction
the potential is consummated in my wealth of abstracts
that amount to simple questions
coffee and chocolate deliberate and i am in the habit
of fixing my machinations so the morning will be
predictable
now i miss cigarette's and the way my bowels would move
halfway into my second smoke
so i'd finish it on the shitter
drinking bitter coffee because at that time i liked to
pretend that i liked it black
now i add cream and sugar in quantities as much as i want
i can't decide which is better
the conclusion is that i probably don't like coffee
but i am fairly certain that i like caffeine
so the effect surpasses the substance
cream makes it smooth
sugar makes it sweet
days are either too short or too long
and the songs on the radio miss the beat
that my heart is thumping
out
often objects go missing
it seems of their own volition
except for the faint impression that you know where to find them
it's not knowledge but it's present
it's not old but i feel ancient
and the sun in the valley imposes a stasis
that gets at the worst of me
but i have a plan
Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited.
Ask the author first.
© 2009 Jonas
Published on Wednesday, January 28, 2009.
Filed under:
"Poetry"
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Comments on "i wrote it because"
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A former member wrote:
haha ..... now I add cream and sugar in quantity.... that's funny....still love the pieces that are tossed about here, maybe.... like little peeks into something larger...
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On Tuesday, May 12, 2009, Mylissa
(845)
wrote:
I like this, as simple as that. :)
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On Sunday, May 10, 2009, technicolour-girl
(22) wrote:
vivid and captivating, the core of any good read. cigarettes and coffee are breakfast champions, this reminds me of me in so many ways its actually quite scary.
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On Wednesday, May 6, 2009, Winter Born
(169) wrote:
this raises a sence of emotion and understanding in me that I do not fully understand, and find myself incapable of defining... After reading your write three times the feelings remain, but they are still like trying to hold smoke... I may have to fav this one...
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A former member wrote:
it's good to have a plan... for the future is something that always brings the possibility that the past may be forgotten, if nothing else. I get something superbly despondent from this poem... like a bowl of cereal that I wish I couldn't finish... it makes me wonder what is the fare that is collected, from where issues the stare... as if there were a lifelessness that persisted like a soggy bowl of cheerios, bloated and floating along in warm milk. Usually when I tell people that I have a plan, I'm referring to an exit plan for when I can't stand life any more; I have a cancer plan, and I have a longevity plan. No health care, no life insurance... but I have plans. I think I'll interpret the title as having a certain relevance to the poem, one of lacking a reason, of sorts, lacking purpose... perhaps like a shower with no one to speak to... enjoyable read, though I'm not sure I want to be where it takes me.
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A former member wrote:
This poem speaks to me about missing someone. It draws on the potential of singularities.
"drinking bitter coffee because at that time i liked to
pretend that i liked it black" is a profound line, because while you used to pretend you liked it black and now it's bitter and cold. You come to the realization that you never liked it black anyways, maybe you were too sure of yourself. Than you talk about the substances of coffee and cigarettes, which alludes to loneliness and regret. 'but I have a plan' that could be anything--perhaps you want to get back together with this person? I wasn't sure. This is a great poem.
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On Tuesday, April 7, 2009, Jonas
(720) wrote:
if you are trying to 'get' this poem and are trying to hit near what i was writing about, i will tell you that you are way off. this is not about a person, a relationship, or even personal relationships in general. further, i'd like to note that YOU have added the word "cold" to my black coffee... this is an incredibly powerful word, a word that i left out of this piece as its symbolism didn't fit... so take care in noting what you bring to the poem and what is given. i'll stop short of defining the feelings that birthed this writing, however, you begin to get closer to the theme when you say "maybe you were too sure of yourself"... anyway, thank you for the in depth comment and the chance to think critically about my own work and discuss it a little bit. (an aside: i told you that if you were trying to hit a mark you were missing it... however, if you choose to digest this poem one way or the other that is totally your business and you'd always be correct, the only reason i felt it necessary to reply to your comment is because you used a question mark... meaning: you're not wrong, but this is my answer)
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On Monday, March 30, 2009, Sketso
(435) wrote:
Ya know, I keep coming back to this and seeing more each read through, well done! Amusing for the casual reader, with some depth to challenge a thinker.
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On Friday, March 13, 2009, urbanhumility
(1175) wrote:
"the potential is consummated in my wealth of abstracts" this line is you my friend, it's all in the "pudding" you might say......you have written well.............urban
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On Wednesday, January 28, 2009, Ashteroth
(192) wrote:
I liked it, the opened nature, you say it how you see it and a bit abstract at the same time. Definitely an interesting write.
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A former member wrote:
Of course I would immediately pick out a poem by you to draw me in and captivate me. Now you've ruined me and I can't read another fairly until I'm done loving this one.
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On Thursday, January 29, 2009, Jonas
(720) wrote:
*smiles* it's good to hear from you. and you made me blush.
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On Wednesday, January 28, 2009, Sketso
(435) wrote:
Excellence! I think similar thoughts have roamed through my "cereal box stare" in the wee mornings a time or two... but they never seemed so... eloquent.
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A former member wrote:
too good ! made me laugh and made me think ,and yea , you do have a way with words:) thanks for the read!
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On Wednesday, January 28, 2009, lovechild
(43) wrote:
hey! ne 1 ever tell u that u have a way w/ words?
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On Thursday, January 29, 2009, Jonas
(720) wrote:
and you have a way with irony ;-)
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On Wednesday, May 13, 2009, KittyStryker
(711) wrote:
hah! ...anyway, I always love reading your work, and this? No exception.
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On Wednesday, January 28, 2009, Sketso
(435) wrote:
As opposed to a way with zOMG txt spk? Wow...
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