last song

By Armand

last song that i write for you
don't wanna fight with you
can't clear my mind
i ignite for you
used to be
the only knight for you
wasn't right for you
losing sight of you
hollow halls haunted
with the thought of you
in the empty castle
that i brought you to
caught up in you
and the lies
and the why's
that i bought from you
time and again
every now and then
wondering when
i'd be over you
finally rid of you
amen.

Unauthorized Copying Is Prohibited. Ask the author first.
Copyright 2003 Armand
Published on Saturday, April 19, 2003.     Filed under: "Poetry"
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Comments on "last song"

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  • glasshouse On Friday, September 16, 2005, glasshouse (548)By person wrote:

    What you did to me in this piece was unlike any experience for me. My eyes jumped and scattered. My heart kept rhythm or, rather, IT kept rhythm with my heart. Great beats. Great words. To say you hit it hard would be too soft. Great job. -Glass

  • Rachel On Sunday, August 22, 2004, Rachel (213)By person wrote:

    Unlike everyone else, I don't see this as "rap." I see it as constant, pounding, and repetitive thoughts that you can't get rid of, no matter how hard you try. Eh, maybe they're one and the same. Either way, great write here.

  • A former member wrote: Great rhyme scheme, I like the way it runs together...keep up the good work...

  • Sky Singer On Sunday, April 27, 2003, Sky Singer (153)By person wrote:

    wonderful... everyone before me has said all that can be said :) again an excellent peice

  • liquid_emotion On Friday, April 25, 2003, liquid_emotion (323)By person wrote:

    hard to swallow...but it would make decent rap song:) damn just saw that was written... now im unoriginal...um.... original ending *is pleased with herself*

  • A former member wrote: loved it great lyrics like the consept, keep it up

  • cre On Sunday, April 20, 2003, cre (411)By person wrote:

    I love the rhythm in this, it's wonderful. It's sad and haunting, but I also find myself wanting to cheer the writer on as they are at that edge of letting go (or maybe just past it). Excellent write, I enjoyed it.

  • CorruptedLittleGirl On Sunday, April 20, 2003, CorruptedLittleGirl (253)By person wrote:

    Excellent! I love the rhythm. It was fun to read. Well done, Armand!

  • Aurora_Light On Saturday, April 19, 2003, Aurora_Light (472)By person wrote:

    i realy like it

  • A former member wrote: seems like a hidden..never the less, i like it...seems a bit rap song-ish..but would make a "mean" lyric. great job! --melorra

  • A former member wrote: sweet!

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