This heart...

This heart,
Broken and glued
to be broken again
glue and steel bands twining around it's newly reformed exterior

another girl
trust given
trust used like a crowbar to pry my armor loose
Heart broken again...

Yet another chance
Blonde hair
I'm told here eyes were green
armor freely opened
not seeing the sharpened nails
the way she reached in to tear said heart from its anchors
those tiny white teeth
set in a face angels would be envious for
tearing huge chunks out and swallowing them whole before grind destroyed love beneath her booted heel.

Heart replaced
replaced with hate
bitter bile spit at all females
loving the looks of self hatred
the feelings of pride lost
as my hard tool
speared throat, spewing my liquid hate deep.

armor of hate so thick
armor of apathy over that
an army life
a war to kill trusted friends
an injury to send me home...

surgery,
x-rays missed the void in my chest
perhaps the hate and rage just looked like a heart?

recovery.
another girl
Innocent, sweet, a challenge
Corruption calls me
I am a cleric in my own religeon of hate
soft smiles and sweet carresses
hate lost...
where?
armor gone...
how?
my own tools of corruption turned back by
armor of true love.

Love that is felt even now.
closed within my new armor
protected from the pain
protected from the screams
protected from the darkness that now controls me again...

"I want to go home...
Take off this uniform and leave the show..."