Risen

i find myself wanting to spew the contents of a fist full of frustrations upon this page but all that comes to mind is a wordless scream lasting the length of my fetid lungs
what to point to
where to turn
who to rupture
why to burn

i can stain a page with a thousand corrupted thoughts
or color your mind with innumerable pretty words to bend the synapse to my liking

and im working on mastering as many languages to do it in

grin fucked


mind raped



soul torrid in its blank state




i wait with baited breath for its hope to fail




i stare at what i remember like it is the last thing of beauty in existance
all the while fiending for another cigarette


fingers racing up and down my bedsheets as fast as my thoughts



my broken body reminds me that i am still alive





in spite of it all






and with each life giving breath i can smile wider
and stronger





though i may not have the hang of it yet
i may have gotten a grasp on this whole "i'm ok" thing




i can laugh in joy without cynicism




i can smile without thinking of what it costs







though it never dawns here



the night is less cold and empty





so all that is left






is to put a few words to this never ending howl at the dark sky