What I Forgot to Remember

**I haven't posted for aaages so I feel im somewhat rusty ahem!This probably isnt my most stunning work lol!But its just how I felt at a particular time recently and I thought I'd share it with you all.A little insight**


Again I fall
Im lost, bewildered
Im out of control
And there's no cushion for me
There's so much to these situations
It's been like a long preperation
For everything to come crashing down
The higher you climb
The worse the fall
At times like this I feel I've learnt nothing at all
Through all my heartache
Boxes of tissues
Its still all so surprising
To find I have the same issues
Like re-occuring dreams it seems
Ive still yet to find
The missing jigsaw pieces to a peaceful mind
And you can convince youself
That everythings fine
Although your setting yourself a bomb that'll destroy you in time
I've tried so hard
To keep everything together
But it's all fallen apart and Im wondering whether
I should of even bothered
The writing was on the wall
Nothing at all could convince me I was wrong.

I was wrong.


I tried to ease your mind,
Constantly kind
Loving and understanding
Maybe this whole situation Ive been mishandling
Cos Ive held it so tight
Although you've put up a good fight
Night after night
Wrestling with a conscience
Maybe I havent the patience
I thought I did.
Watch the hidden dips as you travel along
The things I think are secure
Tend to go wrong
It doesnt matter what people say
Cos words are cheap
So dont believe what you sow
You will definately reep
I havent the energy to make space in your heart
Your better suited to the person who tore yours apart
You needn't lie to my face,
I'll permantly give you your space


Its hard to put your previous feelings aside
Nothing is easy when it's already underlined
With confusion and pain
Im back to the beginning again
What's the point in fighting for something
That wasn't even yours?
Im certain in a few months
I'll look back on this and smile
But for the while, let me drown my sorrows
The only way I know how.

Perhaps Ive come
To expect too much from you
Selective memory is something I suffer from too
If you must go, I'll stand back and watch you leave
Knowing, eventually, you'll come back to me
You always have, this thing's relentless
Perhaps Im too still?
Or perhaps your just too restless?
It's not easy growing up
And I feel your pain
But why do we make the same mistakes time again?
Look what Ive done for you
I needed you recently
I told you the one thing I needed was security
I called for you and you wasnt there
So to be fair, possibly this time you've broken us
Far beyond repair.
My pen is like the windows to my soul
I hate to admit knocks from you have taken their toll
So from this essay of my soul
I finally conclude
this situation, it seems, is just a case
Of chronic de ja vu.